...Mightier Than the Sword
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by Mystic
These surveys keep saying people want more "Luke and Lorelai" and I remembered I had this story and know I haven't posted it... or at least don't remember posting it, so here it is...
Disclaimer - Gilmore Girls and its characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino, the WB, and whoever else owns them. I'm just having fun. Please hire me. :)
Summary - Lorelai explains her bad mall experience to Luke.
Setting / Rating - First Season / PG

Saturday Afternoon

Lorelai slammed open the front door to Luke's and stared at him a moment before walking towards the counter, upset frown set on her face. "So what's the deal with kids these day!" She said, her hands flying up at her sides. "I went to the mall to get a pair of shoes and was practically mauled down by a pack of them running towards a suede jacket, the cool kind with the patchy effect, not the regular one color blah version, and they didn't even turn around to apologize."

"The audacity!" Luke scoffed, pouring her a cup of coffee.

"YES!" She pointed at him before continuing, "And get this, not only did they not apologize, but one had the nerve to turn and stare me down like it was my fault. Like, my god, I should not be anywhere along any path that leads to that specific suede jacket for fear of the 'Suede Jacket Obsessed Girls of America' taking me out in their quest for a better texture."

Luke nodded his head, serving other customers.

"Then, when I went to pay, some kid with a blue mohawk tried to skip me in the line!"

"You didn't let him, did you?" Luke asked, trying to sound way more shocked than he knew he should and Taylor smirked at him for doing so.

Lorelai shook her head, "I told the punk to get back at the end of the line!"

"Good for you."

Her jaw dropped and he knew that wasn't the end. "Then he called me a bitch and as I stood there in utter shock, he paid ahead of me anyway."

"He called you a what?" Luke stopped serving Taylor and stared at her.

Lorelai nodded slowly. "Amazing, isn't it."

"You didn't ring his neck?"

She shook her head. "Are you insane? And have the mall police take me down for assaulting a minor? I'd rather be taken out by the SJOGA."

"The SJOGA?"

"Suede Jacket Obsessed Girls of America," Kirk chimed in.

"When did you get here?" Luke asked quickly.

Kirk stared at him, annoyed. "Right before the crazy woman. Who you always serve first. Ahead of me. No matter when I get here."

"Yeah, I'll be with you in a sec, Kirk. Park yourself over there," he pointed to the end of the counter. Kirk mumbled something inaudible and went as he was told.

Lorelai smiled quickly at him, giving him a half wave and then turned back to Luke. "So after the SJOGA incident and the crazed Mohawk Boy, I went to get a coffee and the kid behind the counter, he gave me decaf!"

"The nerve!" Luke said, still upset at the Mohawk Boy.

"So I'm very much upset at the moment wondering where did things go wrong, I mean, I have an amazing kid who'd never shove people out of the way and never EVER skip in line and she certainly would never be mean enough to give me decaf."

Luke raised a finger, "There was that one..."

"She was insane that week, but I've since found her the treatment she needs, ie, threats to bring baby pictures of her bottom end into school, and suddenly she became very much the sane little girl I know and love," Lorelai said, waving a hand to shut up him.

"Good for her," Luke nodded his head.

Lorelai signed, finally sitting and taking a long drink of her coffee. "So what happened to everyone else's kid? Are they all as freakish as Mohawk Boy?"

"I'm pretty sure they don't all wear blue mohawks."

Lorelai shrugged, "You never know, Mohawks have been known to spread like wildfire through high schools. It's like an epidemic."

"Did you have a mohawk?" Luke questioned.

Lorelai smirked, "After careful consideration, I decided the Mohawk look was not the look for me and I opted for the poofy curl thing for a while and then became a rational adult and have stuck with a less than sensational hairdo since then."

"Your hair looks nice," Luke shrugged.

Her smirk grew to a large grin before she shook her head, "Ugh, but kids, what's up? with them?"

"No discipline," Luke said, pointing a finger.

"Bad mallrat children!" Lorelai said, looking at her empty mug and the pouting up at Luke. He refilled her mug and shook his head at her.

Lorelai sighed. "Rory would never turn into a bad mallrat kid, would she?"

Luke shuddered at the thought. "Nah, Rory's a good kid."

"Ok," Lorelai stood.

Luke watched her grip her bag, looking for money. "Where are you going?"

"Hopefully away, so I can get service," Kirk said, butting in again.

Luke pointed towards a seat at the end of the counter, "Go, now." Kirk stared at him a moment and then huffed, going to slam himself into the chair.

Lorelai raised an eyebrow and then looked back at Luke. "Home, to give Rory a lesson in 'how not to be an idiot'."

Kirk huffed again.

"And then I'm going to take her to get ice cream," she smiled.

"Why don't you bring her back here, I'll make you both banana splits."

"With sprinkles?" She got excited.

"And chocolate fudge," Luke smiled.

"Warm and Gooey?"

He laughed, "Always."

"You're the best!" Lorelai jumped once, then turned and left.

"Crazy woman," Kirk muttered.

Luke turned, "Shut up, Kirk, or I'll sit Lorelai next to you when she gets back." He watched Kirk's eyes widen as his mouth snapped shut. Then Luke watched Taylor cover the smile on his face and he felt his own face redden. Shaking it off, he went into the back to peel some bananas.

I would have him spit in Kirk's food, but that's just not Luke. :)
Hope you enjoyed.


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