I am not Joss Whedon. This story is completely AU after the episode 3:09 'The Wish.'
Author's Chapter Notes:
Cordelia Chase walked down the courtyard of Sunnydale High School. She was the most popular and the prettiest girl in school—at least she had been until stupid Xander Harris had started dating her. Now that wouldn’t have been so bad—if he hadn’t cheated on her. That had reduced her to the lowest of the low. Right now she was walking with Anya Jenkins, the new kid who didn’t know about Xander’s stupidity. Yet.
“Anyway,” Cordelia continued vapidly, “Buffy Summers was the reason that I completely fell for Xander. Her and her miraculous…oh, what the hell…Slayer Powers.”
“Buffy Summers is a Slayer?” Anya asked curiously.
“You know what that is?” Cordelia rolled her eyes. “It’s so stupid.”
“I know,” Anya agreed, taking off her necklace and handing it to Cordelia. “You need this good luck more than I do.”
“Thanks,” Cordelia said. “How do you know what a Slayer is, anyway?”
“I’m a witch,” the vengeance demon explained. “In my opinion nobody needs a Slayer with the black arts around.”
Cordelia smirked. “I would so agree with you, except for that Willow Rosenberg. Xander’s oh-so-best-friend.”
Anya raised her eyebrows at Cordelia. “Was she the one he cheated on you with?”
“How’d you know?” Cordelia asked. “If there’s anyone I hate more than Xander right now, it would be Willow…”
“Don’t you wish that…?” Anya began, waiting for Cordelia to finish her sentence.
“Oh come on,” the vengeance demon taunted. “If you could wish anything in the world on Xander Harris, what would it be?”
Cordelia thought for a second. “Wait and I’ll give you something truly awful, Anya.” She smiled.
“I’m so ready,” Anya said happily. “This school is so…” She didn’t finish, because she’d almost given away her vengeance secret.
“I’ve got it!” Cordelia said. She smirked. “Oh, you’re gonna love this one…”
Anya raised her eyebrows. “At this point, I’d love any wish you’ve got, Cordelia.” She stared angrily over at Xander.
“You know what I wish?” Cordelia asked. “I wish that Xander Harris was the Slayer…isn’t that brilliant?” she asked Anya.
The vengeance demon, however, decided to take her true, veiny form and turned around to Cordelia. “Done.”
“What?” Cordelia asked as the world began to fade away. “Wait! That wasn’t a good wish. I could have wished that Buffy Summers never came to Sunnydale. Or that Xander Harris had never met Willow Rosenberg. Or that I had never fallen for him. Or that he got syphilis.”
As she saw Sunnydale High without any Buffy, she shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. This should be good. Seeing Xander as a girl. For a demon, Anya was a good fairy.”
Cordelia walked into the school and caught up with Harmony, crossing her fingers to be accepted. To her good luck, Harmony waved at her. “Cordy!” she squealed. “Love the dress.”
“Thanks,” said Cordelia, happy to be included finally. “What’s up, Harm?”
“Nothing really…but we can so do something cool now that you’re here!” Harmony squealed excitedly.
Cordelia didn’t want to say anything about Xander—what if he was a girl, and his name was Lisa or something? Now that would be funny. So instead she asked about Willow. “How’s that nerd…Willow, I think? She’s nice and…completely miserable, right?”
“Oh, yeah, Willow and Xander,” Harmony said, rolling her eyes. “The perfect couple.”
“Yeah,” said Cordelia under her breath. “I go into an alternate universe and they’re still together.” Then she did a double take. “See you later, Harm.” She headed straight to the library.
“Giles?” she asked, roaming around. The weapons were still there, so Cordelia assumed he was Xander’s watcher.
“Cordelia??” Giles said, walking out of the shadows. “What on earth are you doing here? You don’t belong in the library, you belong in the cheery world of…er…cheerleaders.”
Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Okay. Right Giles, who’s your Slayer?”
“Excuse me?” Giles feigned.
“Oh come on,” Cordelia said. “Pointy sticks meet evil vampires; they explode into dust…who does all the pointy poking around here?”
“How on earth do you know about it?” Giles asked, bewildered.
Cordelia crossed her arms. “Never mind. Who’s the Slayer? Is it Buffy Summers?”
“How do you know that name?” Giles asked. “She’s a potential Slayer, correct, but the real one is Xander Harris.”
“And he’s a boy?”
“Yes, of course,” said Giles. “It’s quite irregular, but the Council and I really can’t argue with it. Besides, he does quite a good job of it so we aren’t complaining.”
“Great,” muttered Cordelia. “Just great. Where can I find him?”
“Wait a second,” said Giles. “You aren’t going anywhere until you tell me how you know what the Slayer is.”
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” said Cordelia, poking her head into the weapons cage. “Does Willow Rosenberg know about all this?”
“Yes, Willow’s a very…capable…witch,” said Giles. “You get your hands off those weapons!”
“I wasn’t going to touch them,” Cordelia said. “I just wanted to know if they were the same ones Buffy used.”
“I really promise I’ll tell you later,” Cordelia said, heading out of the library.
“Cordelia, wait!” Giles said angrily, heading after her.
“I’m not a demon!”
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