...Mightier Than the Sword
A Fan Fiction Archive
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Just for fun not for profit, the characters are not mine.
Sleep was a luxury Jamie rarely afforded herself, but now she lay on her couch enjoying the complete relaxation that exhaustion provided. Her mind was drifting, she had not a care in the world. She didn’t even hear the doorbell. It wasn’t until it was rung a second time that the noise registered with her. Groggily she went to the door with, “Yeah yeah, I’ll be right there.” She muttered a curse to herself as she tripped on some shoes she left near the door and kicked them out of her way upon opening the door.
“HOLY CRAP! Dean! ohmigod, come in,” she smiled. Dean returned her smile and walked past her into the house. “So, I guess you got my message.” Jamie fumbled a hand through her hair and kicked herself for not checking her look before opening the door.

“Yeah, good directions, too. Nice place,” he answered while taking in the cluttered living room.

“Um, thanks, uh here, sit, can I get you anything? something to drink?” She wondered what time it was. He must think I'm an idiot.

“No, I’m good. So, what’s wrong, Jamie? You sounded really worried in your message. Is there another prob -”

“Yeah, um, no. Hey,” She looked around, “what, no Sam this time?” she asked trying not to sound anxious but not sure how to talk to him. Geez I’ve got to look terrible, she thought.

“Right, no Sam. He’s -- busy -- with other stuff right now. Look Jamie, I’m really glad to have heard from you and it’s great to see you, but what’s going on? You sounded different on the phone and now you’re avoiding.”

Jamie smiled at him, “You’re right. C’mon” and she held out her hand to him. He took it as he stood back up. She led him through the house to a room in back. Taking a deep breath she quietly opened the door and led him in. “Dean, I’d like you to meet your son, Robert Winchester. I call him Robbie.”

Dean looked from the sleeping infant to her and back again. “My -- why didn’t you? When did? My son, huh?”

Jamie smiled, “Do you want to hold him?”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to wake him,” Dean’s shocked face was back to looking at his son.

“Dean, it’s ok. Won’t matter if you wake him,” she reassured as she reached into the crib and lifted little Robbie to hand to his father. “Here, sit.” She showed him to the rocker in the corner of the room.

“Jamie, why didn’t you tell me?” Marveling at his son, Dean knew the answer she’d probably give so he changed the question and looked up at her. “Why did you tell me?”

Jamie smiled, sighed and answered both his questions, “ I don’t know.” She looked around the room avoiding Dean’s eyes. Dean didn’t blame her. She knew what he did, he just didn’t understand why she would tell him anything about this child. “Look, Dean, I know we just spent one night,” she found herself blushing and smiling which brought a small smile to Dean’s face. “And I know you’re not the type to just settle down. I just.” She trailed off.

Dean cleared his throat and stood. He went to hand Robbie of to Jamie. “Look, it’s ok, I get it. I guess. Um, thanks, for telling me just the same. Means a lot to me. If you need anything, I mean it, anything, I’ll do everything I can to . .”

Jamie just looked at him. She didn’t take Robbie back from him. “Dean, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t find out I was pregnant until nearly Thanksgiving.” She began to pace and her words were rushed. “I wasn’t sure I was going to have him, let alone keep him.” This brought a startled look from Dean which Jamie noticed but brushed off. “Then in December, there was all this baby Jesus and baby’s first Christmas stuff around, and, well, I don’t know, it got to me. I decided to keep the baby.” Smiling, she reached out and touched Robbie’s head. “But telling you, well, that wasn’t really in the plan. I didn’t want you to feel obligated or trapped.” Dean went to interrupt but she stopped him. “I wasn’t going to tell you, ever, at all. Then, well,” she paused, “then I had him.” She smiled and finally met Dean’s eyes. “I knew the moment I held him that you had to hold him and have a chance at deciding for yourself what you want. I know you just said that you’d do anything. We don’t need anything. Not really. I ..” She paused and lifted Robbie from Dean’s arms. “I want you to be part of his life if that’s what you want. I want you to ...” Again she paused and looked away from Dean while putting the waking baby on the changing table.

As Jamie began to coo over Robbie, Dean stood next to her. “Let me,” he said while leaning over to unsnap the baby’s pjs. “I used to change Sammy all the time when we were kids. I’m sure its like riding a bike.” He answered her questioning look. “What? like you won’t change enough diapers?”

Jamie stepped back and watched while Dean took his turn. “Hey, buddy, I’m your daddy.” He removed the diaper, and went through the steps of putting on a fresh one. “Yeah, how’s that? Better?” Dean brought his face closer to Robbie’s. “There, good as new,” and he snapped him back up and tossed the used diaper in the pail at the end of the table. Then he lifted his son off the table, “If you’re anything like your old man, you’re hungry. Let’s get you a bottle.” He carried the baby to the kitchen.

Jamie was smiling but surprised by Dean’s actions. “Uh, Dean, wait, Dean.”

Dean turned to her, “yeah?”

“I’m, um, feeding him,” she reached for Robbie but Dean turned away.

“Jamie, take a break, I got it, really.” He opened a couple cabinets. “No, Dean, I mean I’m breast feeding.”

“Oh, okay, cool. Here. I’ll just. .” He handed Robbie to his mother.

She took Robbie and kissed Dean on the check. “Look, Dean, Why don’t you go relax, watch tv or something? We’ll be right back.”

Dean went back to the couch and sat. He didn’t watch tv though. He was trying to figure all of this out. Could Jamie want him around? Would he be any good for them to have in their lives? He hadn’t thought about fatherhood since Lisa and Ben. Sure, turned out he wasn’t Ben’s dad, but what if he had been? Now, now, he really was a dad. Holy crap, he thought. I gotta call Sammy. He frowned. Okay, I gotta call Bobbie. I wonder if Cas knows, of course Cas knows. I wonder who else does or worse, what else does. He began to get fearful. This isn’t a good idea. I should leave. I should leave now before anything happens to them. I should just get out of their lives before I ruin them. Dean’s stomach began to twist. His breathing was becoming shallow. He got up to pace and nearly fell back down on the couch. He closed his eyes and thought about praying, but he didn’t know what to pray for.

“Dean?” Jamie, carrying Robbie, sat down next to him. “Are you all right?” Dean lifted his head out of his hands and gave them a small smile. “I know. I kind of ambushed you, huh.” She put Robbie back in Dean’s arms. “The reason I called, the reason I told you about Robbie is -- I’m having him baptized this weekend.” She paused and looked up from Robbie to Dean. “I really want you to be there.” She bit her lip nervously. This was too much. He just found out he’s a father and now I’m shoving religion on him. She held her breath.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Dean managed to croak out surprised that his voice cracked.

“Really?” She asked as she let out her breath.

“Really.” Dean moved his baby in his arms. “I mean if you’re sure you want me around. I’m not exactly a church going Brady Bunch kind of guy.”

“Dean, I want you around as much as you’d want to be around. I was thinking that if you need place to feel at home, we can be that for you. If you want. I know what you do is important. I’m not asking you to stop. I’m just hoping that if you need a place to put it all out of your mind for a bit. We can be that for you. If you want.” Jamie leaned back and closed her eyes. Feeling exhausted and relieved to have finally gotten all that out, she hoped Dean didn’t think this was some desperate ploy to hold on to him.

When she opened her eyes, Robbie was holding Dean’s finger and she could swear she saw tears in Dean’s eyes. “I’d like that,” Dean whispered and Jaime smiled..

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