Author’s Notes: This was inspired by Jacqui! /snicker/ See what you spawned? Ha! My first Mutant X humor piece! :)
Dedication: This is dedicated to Jacqui, who inspired this whole thing.
Summary: The strange adventures of the man who delivers the stasis pods to Genomex.
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So anyways, I’m heading back to that big, imposing building they call Genomex. Simple genetic research. Yeah, right. If it was simple genetic research, I doubt they’d need this many stasis pods.
I have another load of fifty in my trailer for the third time this week. What the hell do they do there that requires this many stasis pods? Besides, they’re people stasis pods. Now, for how many stasis pods I deliver each week (approximately 150-200) for them, I know for a fact that there aren’t that many people working there! I checked it out myself at their online site.
So what do they use them for?
Well, my buddy, Erwin, used to truck for them and he tells me there were times when he’d have to take the stasis pods out of Genomex. Now, this makes no sense to me. Why would you do that? The place is certainly big enough to hold all these. But that’s not the kicker.
The kicker is that he claims they were full of people, but they looked all funny. Something about some having funny eyes and being bald. I don’t quite remember. Either way, I remember laughing at him. After all, he was known to exaggerate things just a little too much. Nobody believed him when he said that he saw some half-bird, half-man trying to fly off of his truck, only to land on the pavement in a heap of feathers and hair. Right, like that could ever happen.
Whoop, I’m up to the checkpoint that’s two miles before Genomex. A little guy comes out of the booth with dark sunglasses and a dark suit on. I see he’s got his hair cut to regulation too. Do they all get together in the morning and say, "Hey, here’s an idea. Why don’t we wear this black suit and these black sunglasses instead of that black suit and those black sunglasses!" Please. I’ve seen them all, and they’re all exactly the same. I don’t know how they manage to decide what to wear in the morning!
I laugh at my thoughts and the little guy gives me a weird look. Did his eyes just turn yellow? Naw, I’m seeing things. I have to be. Nobody’s eyes turn yellow (except for that hot chick‘s at that diner, but that‘s another story)!
I blink and when I look again, his eyes are perfectly normal behind those damn sunglasses. Whatever. He waves me through and off I go with my truckload of stasis pods. Yippy-skippy.
So here I am on the open road again, so to speak. There are some weird fences around the whole place, and they line the road as well. Every now and then, I swear I hear some weird noises in that forest, but then they’re gone and I know I must be hallucinating. I have to be. There aren’t such things as half-human, half-wolf creatures, are there? Naw.
Now, back to my original thoughts about the stasis pods. What are they used for? This is a mystery that begs my attention, but, of course, I can’t solve it or I’ll be fired. That’s what happened to Fred. He tried to figure out what was going on at some medical research facility and he got canned. Then he disappeared off the face of the earth. I wonder whatever happened to him. . .
Oh, I’m at the main building now. Joyous. The big guy (in his dark sunglasses, dark suit, and regulation haircut, of course) is talking on the phone. Great. This guy always takes forever. I sigh in annoyance. This is why there’s a book I keep beside me whenever I come up here. Perfect for such occasions as this.
I begin to read, but my thoughts are distracted by an alarm. Oh great. Something’s happened again. The big guy goes off running towards the main building, leaving me sitting out here. I hate this. I open my book again and just as I’m about to start reading chapter nineteen ("How Fried Green Tomatoes Are Fried And Other Such Novelties") something slams onto the hood of my rig. What the hell?
I glance up and am in for the surprise of my life. There are two people up there, one a chick with blond hair and the other some dude with dark brown hair. I look around them and see these mooks running at them. Well, this is nothing new. Granted, I’ve never been up close and personal with this before, but still. It’s the principle of it all. My attention is drawn back to the two people on the hood of my semi. I look closely and I think that there are dents where they landed. Fuck.
I glance back in time to see the dude crossing his hands and then all of sudden some lightning comes out of them. Oh shit, this can’t be good. He extends his hand and hits the mooks with the lightning. I’m about to wet my pants, I swear I am! The chick looks at me and smiles, her eyes changing into cat eyes. Oh, that really can’t be good. I’m gonna pass out. I really am!
Something big and resembling a ship came flying out of nowhere, and the chick grabs the dude around the waist and jumps, I mean jumps, about thirty feet into the air to the ship. I watch as they disappear inside through the hatch on the bottom.
Holy shit, I did not just see that. Fuck, fuck, fuck. . .
My mouth must be as round as a pumpkin because the mooks are coming up to me. Damn.
"You didn’t see anything," one of them says to me. I nod dumbly and they wave me through. Maybe there was some truth to that shit Erwin said. . .
Oh well, no time to ponder. These stasis pods are always on a rush delivery and they were supposed to be in two minutes ago. I’m gonna catch hell when I get back to base.
But I still can’t help but wonder. . . What the hell are all these stasis pods used for and what do they do here?
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