Chapter 18

Dawn was a tiny sliver on the eastern horizon as they rose and gathered their bedding. There wasn't much talking as they ate a cold breakfast of smoked fish and bread, just the occasional word or comment about whatever task they were focused on. While Methos secured their travel gear and supplies to the donkey, Teal'c and Daniel harnessed the oxen and O'Neill saddled the horses.

"All right," Methos said when everything was loaded and ready except for the shields the colonel had purchased and one large bundle. "Places everybody."

"Carter isn't here," O'Neill reminded.

"She can take a little extra time," Methos told him smugly. "She's our centerpiece."

"O-kay," the colonel nodded dubiously. "Hey, can I have the window seat?"

"You'll get plenty of air sitting on Betty," Methos responded. "But first," he said, opening the package. "Remove your robe."

"But you haven't even asked me out yet!"

"And I'm not likely to once you're wearing this." Methos held up the sword he'd purchased and the deer skin belt he'd made.

"Cool!" O'Neill said, removing his himation.

The belt went around his waist, neatly tied with fringe at both ends. Methos took a moment to adjust his chiton so that it bloused over the belt, leaving the hem to fall just above his knees. The sword had it's own girder which went over the colonel's head to hang across one shoulder with the scabbard comfortably strapped to his back. Taking the himation, linen now because the weather was getting warmer, Methos redressed O'Neill, placing the folds carefully so that there would be no impediment if Jack need to reach for the blade.

He handed O'Neill one of the shields and stood back to admire his handiwork. "Now, you're a soldier," he nodded.

"Imagine that," O'Neill muttered, looking down at himself disgustedly.

Methos rolled his eyes and helped him place the shield over his back so he could ride with it then turned to the other members of the team.

"Teal'c," Methos gave a half bow as the Jaffa came forward and he unwrapped a fine linen cloak stitched with hundreds of tiny feathers dyed in rainbow colors. "You," he explained, removing the plain himation Teal'c had worn and replacing it with the new one, "are an ambassador from Numidia. A very important man."

"Indeed," the Jaffa intoned.

Methos took out several heavy gold bracelets, putting them on Teal'c's wrists and ankles then added rings for his fingers and a heavy gold neck chain and pendant.

"You won't really need to do anything," he told the big man. "Just look distant and regal. Pay no attention to anyone. Not even us."

"A simple request. Most easily done," Teal'c grinned wickedly.

"Thought it might be," Methos chuckled. "One more thing. Two, actually," he amended. "You'll ride Trigger and carry this monstrosity."

Teal'c grimaced at the hideous shield he held up.

"Hey!" the colonel complained. "That is a great depiction of fish."

"I believe there is a saying among the ancient peoples of the Tau'ri," Teal'c began. "To return from battle with one's shield or lying dead upon it."

"With my shield or on it. Yes," Methos nodded.

"Then please see to it. Should the worst happen, it may be any shield but this."

"You have my solemn oath on that," Methos agreed emphatically as he helped the Jaffa hang the detestable armor across his back.

O'Neill frowned mightily and stomped over to Betty. "We ready yet, kemosabi?"

Methos sighed in despair. "Look, Jack. Just pick a name. Any nickname! Then stick to it. Even minion is better than this!"

"Y' think?" O'Neill grinned, then dropped his sudden mask of affability. "Just get this show on the road, Pierson. We're not playing here."

Methos nodded. O'Neill was right. He was delaying. "Sorry, Danny, but I have to pierce your ears," he told the young archaeologist.

"I think I see where this is going," Jackson nodded.

"Don't worry," Methos said gently, holding up a pair of earrings that looked like tiny lions' heads. "These are lighter than they look and I've got a good salve there to keep you from itching."

A little alcohol and a fine needle from the med kit allowed Methos to do the work quick and neat. A pair of gold bracelets to match and a lion's head broach to hold his himation at the shoulder and Daniel was ready.

"Major Carter!" Methos called. "You can come out now!"

The front door opened and Carter stepped out, drawing stares from the other members of the team. Her fine blonde hair was curled high and held in place by tiny combs of beaten gold set with miniature sheaves of wheat. The same motif was repeated in all of her jewelry. From the huge dangling earrings to the small pins that held her sleeves together at various points from her shoulders to her wrists. She wasn't wearing bracelets or a necklace, but the belt that encircled the waist of her flawlessly white chiton whispered musically as the sheaves slid across her hips as she walked.

"It's brilliant!" Daniel whispered as he looked to Methos. "We're untouchable!"

"What's brilliant?" O'Neill asked. "She looks like an ad for the Farmer's Almanac."

"She's a bride, Jack! Don't you get it?" Daniel explained. "A noble bride on her way to be married. Led by the groom's ambassador," he waved at Teal'c. "Protected by a pair of her father's soldiers. And bringing with her a dowry of such wealth her husband could only be a king!"

"Don't forget your own role in our little charade," Methos grinned, bowing deeply. "The honored brother who acts as his father's emissary, driving a fine pair of oxen and his very beautiful sister."

"So?" O'Neill asked again. "What's the big deal?"

Methos cast his eyes to the heavens, sighing again in despair. "Do you know how much bad karma messing with anyone looking like us would bring?"

"Not to mention the war it would cause," Daniel added.

"Okay. So no one messes with the king's main squeeze. Got it," O'Neill nodded. "Carter, get in the wagon."

"Yes, Colonel."

"No!" Methos shouted. "You don't speak to her. And she doesn't speak to anybody! Daniel speaks for her and we speak to him only when necessary."

"So what do I do?" Carter asked angrily. "Just sit up there looking stupid?"

"No," Methos told her calmly. "You are a princess. You sit demurely with your eyes downcast and pay no attention to anybody."

"The whole way to Egypt?!" she shouted.

"Only when we're in public, damn it! You can chat with Danny. But only if he speaks first."

Carter frowned and O'Neill looked furious.

"Please," Methos said quietly. "It's only when we pass through a village, or if we're close to anyone on the roads. If you say anything then, he'll be required to beat you."

"I thought princesses got special treatment?" she asked, giving Daniel an icy glare.

"Only in storybooks, Samantas," Methos told her kindly. "In the real world, they may have more to eat and prettier clothing, but they get treated far worse than most other women."

"He's right, Sam," Daniel added.

"It's not that I like doing this to you," Methos explained. "But it's the only way we can get to Megara without running the risk of being stopped for any reason. Your very presence makes the rest of us safe. And if we do have to stop where there are people you won't have to stay with the other women. You'll have a special place with Jack and I as guards. The other women won't expect you to eat or even gossip with them. You'll be both respected and ignored by everybody."

Finally, she nodded. "Okay. If it'll get us there safely, I'll play along."

"Thank you," Methos heaved a sigh of relief. "Danaeus," he turned to Daniel. "Help your sister into the wagon. No one but you touches her until we get to Megara."

Methos adjusted his own chiton, strapped on his sword, slid his shield over his back, and tossed the rest of the gear into the wagon. Without a backward glance at the little cabin he turned and went to his horse as Jack mounted alongside him.

"Just for the record, Methos," O'Neill said quietly. "This plan sucks."

Methos grimaced wryly as he kneed his horse forward. "If it gets us where we need to go in one piece, I don't care if stands up and farts."

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