Girls Talk

The sequel to Scratching At The Eight Ball

By Victoria P.
Series: Achin' To Be
Rating: PG -- um, no reason really, sexual innuendo, I guess
Summary: It's Rogue's turn to get advice about her situation.
Notes: Thanks to Dot, Jen, Meg and Pete -- especially Meg, for the excellent advice, both for me and for Rogue, without which there would be no story.


Rogue was in tears when she stumbled into the room she shared with Kitty. She locked the door and flung herself on the bed, sobbing in frustration and anger. Why'd he have to do it? she thought, though she wasn't sure which "it" she was thinking of -- the last kiss or -- the other stuff. She blushed; her body was still taut and aching for his touch. She had to be honest, at least with herself, that she had hoped for and wanted the -- other stuff.

She was still crying when the doorknob rattled a little while later. "Rogue, are you in there? Why is the door locked?" It was Kitty, of course.

"Go away."

"Let me in, Rogue. I need to change."

"Go away." She wasn't ready to face anyone, and she certainly didn't want to see Kitty. They had circled each other uncomfortably for the past three days. Rogue would come in, Kitty would go out and vice versa, avoiding any conversation except for, "Have you seen the toothpaste?" or "Where's my 'Crime And Punishment'?"

"Are you crying? Rogue, what's wrong?"

"I'm studying," she lied, trying to keep her voice steady. "Leave me alone."

"You sound upset to me. I'm coming in." And she walked through the door. Even after two years, Rogue wasn't quite used to seeing it.

Kitty took one look at her and knew. How could she not? Rogue's hair was wild, her white shirt damp in telltale places. And she was crying like she'd lost her best friend.

"Rogue, what happened?" she asked, forgetting the tension between them and putting her arms around her friend.

Rogue hid her face on Kitty's shoulder, sobbing, barely able to talk. "Why did he -- Why couldn't he--" was all Kitty could make out. Kitty automatically knew who "he" was.

"Did he hurt you?" she asked sharply.

Rogue sniffed and lifted her head. "No. No! I'm afraid I hurt him." She sniffed again. "I need a tissue." She broke free of Kitty's arms and rummaged through the mess of dirty tissues on the night table for a clean one. She wiped her eyes and blew her nose before turning back to the other girl. "I, we," she was still trying to absorb it all. "He kissed me." She put a hand to her lips. "Here. It was wonderful. It was the first time anyone's kissed me since David. But it was horrible. Why did he do it? He knows I can hurt him."

"He's crazy, Rogue. You know that." She was interrupted by the sound of a motorcycle thundering out of the gates. "Exhibit A," she said dryly, pointing out the window.

"He's leavin'?" Rogue gasped. "It's all my fault." She'd almost stopped crying, but that set her off again.

"He kissed you, Rogue. It's not your fault," Kitty snapped. "And," she glanced meaningfully at Rogue's disheveled hair and still damp shirt, "I'm thinking kissing's not all he did." She paused. "He didn't force you..." she trailed off. He might be crazy, but she didn't think he'd deliberately hurt Rogue. She seemed to be the only person he cared for.

"No!" Rogue said again, shocked. She turned scarlet. "Uh, we, uh..." she stuttered. "I love him, and I think he loves me," she said defiantly. She paused as doubt flashed across her face. "He wants me, anyway." She seemed to deflate a little.

Kitty was dubious. "I'm not denying that he's attracted to you. Anyone could see it from the way he stares at you. But love? I don't know. I don't think love makes promises and then disappears without a trace. Or comes back two years later thinking you'll have been waiting for all that time, without moving on."

"But I haven't moved on," Rogue said miserably. "I thought I had. But seein' him again just brings back all the old feelings. And knowin' he feels the same toward me, how can I not try to make somethin' of it -- somethin' more than just him protectin' me from bad guys?"

She drew a deep breath. "You were right, Kitty. I shouldn't be stringing Bobby along like this. Even if, even if Logan doesn't come back this time, I love him and it's not fair to Bobby. Or to you. I'm so sorry." She was crying full-force again. Kitty held her, looking slightly stunned.

They were still in that position a few minutes later when Jean knocked on the door. Kitty let her in. "Rogue, what happened?"

"I," she looked up from Kitty's shoulder, "I don't think I can tell you," she muttered, embarrassed, burying her burning face in her hands.

Jean nodded slightly at Kitty, who scooted to the head of the bed so Jean could sit down next to Rogue. Jean put her hand on the girl's arm. "Will you show me?" she asked gently. Sometimes it was easier if a person didn't have to talk. Rogue nodded and Jean reached out with her mind. She was barraged with images of Logan kissing and caressing the young woman, including the tumultuous feelings she had experienced. She broke the contact quickly -- it really was a private moment -- her own breathing a little unsteady. If he hadn't taken off like all the demons in hell were after him, she'd have cornered him and bawled him out for pushing things so fast.

Jean tried to think of something helpful and non-judgmental to say. Somehow, all her advice seemed as glib as what Scott had offered Bobby. She took Rogue's hand. "I think you need to talk to him," she began, choosing her words carefully. "The fact that he came back shows he cares about you, that it's not just" she gestured vaguely with her free hand, "sex. He could get uncomplicated sex anywhere. I think this is new territory for him, as well."

"The blind leading the blind," Rogue murmured with a watery chuckle.

Jean smiled briefly. "It's all right to be scared. Love can be scary. Even under the best of circumstances relationships are hard, and there are extra, added complications. It's easy to let your hormones take over, to just go with the flow because it feels good, but you have to be smart and in control. He's a lot older and more experienced than you are, and you may feel intimidated into doing things you're not ready for. Don't be. If he really cares for you, the last thing he wants to do is push you into doing something you don't want to.

"And, of course, you have to be careful, and he's got to remember to be careful touching you. He could easily get hurt and--" she stopped, obviously remembering what had happened the first night Rogue and Logan had spent at the school, "hurt you instinctively, in retaliation.

"I'm not going to tell you that love is easy or that it conquers all. That's fairy tale stuff, for kids. If you're going to take on adult responsibilities -- and make no mistake, that's what we're talking about -- you have to be prepared to have adult problems. There are a lot of adults who aren't prepared to handle this kind of thing."

Rogue knew what she was saying made sense. But Jean had brought up another point that made her insecure. "I know," she began slowly, "that he's been with a lot of women." She knew intimately what he liked -- she carried it around in her head, didn't she? "And there are always gonna be things I can't do--" she hesitated, too mortified to go into detail.

Jean smiled wryly, remembering her conversation with him in the kitchen. "I think he needs to tell you what he does and doesn't want. If you just talk to him, frankly and openly, I'm sure he'll tell you."

Rogue blushed again. She hated being so fair-skinned, and so easily embarrassed. "Oh, I couldn't-- How could I talk to him about..." She trailed off.

"If you can't say it, you shouldn't be doing it," Jean said sternly, but there was a twinkle in her eye.

"What would I say? Hey, Logan, you know we practically had sex on the pool table--" Kitty, all but forgotten, gasped, as Rogue continued "--so are your intentions honorable or what?"

Jean couldn't help but laugh. "If it were anyone else, I'd say work on it, but with Logan, that speech might actually do the trick."

Kitty was still trying to wrap her mind around what Rogue had just said. "Sex? On the pool table?" she asked, slightly shocked. "In the game room?"

"Uh, sort of."

"Rogue, you're finally living up to that name you chose. You know that door doesn't lock, right?" Kitty looked at the other girl in amazement. "Vixen," she teased, as Rogue blushed again.

"It just sort of happened. One minute he was teachin' me to shoot stick--"

"I'll bet he was," Kitty snickered.

"And the next he was kissin' my neck. Not that I put up a fight. And then things got out of hand."

"They sure did."

Jean got up. Another crisis defused, she thought. But she was going to tear Logan a new one for this little stunt, if Scott didn't do it first. What am I going to tell Scott? she wondered.

"What about Bobby?" Kitty asked.

Jean looked expectantly at Rogue and thought how young she looked to have to deal with such an emotional tangle. Rogue drew a deep breath. "I have to talk to him. I have to tell him the truth. I should do it now, before I lose my nerve. Do you know where he is?"

Kitty opened her mouth to respond, but Jean was quicker. "First I think you should wash your face, so your eyes don't get swollen. I'm amazed you don't have a headache from all that crying. And change your shirt," she added.

"I just want to get this over with. I hate the idea that Bobby's gonna be hurt. I mean, he was my first friend here." She looked at Kitty. "But I suppose you can comfort him."

Kitty flushed. "I don't want to be his rebound girl," she said quietly. "I've liked him too long for that. I've spent this much time waiting for him, I guess I can wait a little longer."

Jean looked struck by this revelation, but said nothing. Kitty was a known flirt -- she'd dated almost every boy in her age range who'd walked through the doors at some point or another, but she sounded serious about Bobby. Another situation that would bear watching, Jean thought. Teenagers. Everything was always life or death with them. She was amazed anyone managed to turn out all right, and it was doubly hard for mutants, who really were the outcasts that all teens felt themselves to be. She just hoped Bobby didn't confront Logan, or things could get ugly.

Rogue hugged Kitty and went to the bathroom to wash her face. Jean touched her shoulder briefly. "You're a very good friend, Kitty Pryde. Rogue's lucky to have you." And she left the girls alone.

"She's right," Rogue said from the bathroom. "And I'm sorry I've been so much trouble."

Kitty looked down at her feet, abashed by the praise, but she recovered quickly. "You just have to give me all the gory details the next time you and Logan, er, shoot stick," she said.

"If there is a next time," Rogue said mournfully.

"Oh, there will be," Kitty assured her cheerfully. "That man won't be able to resist you, if you put your mind to it. I mean, on the pool table -- in the game room. Anyone could have walked in!"

With Kitty keeping up a steady stream of chatter, Rogue washed her face and thought, Maybe this will all work out after all.

End


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