Rogue stared at Logan's retreating back as he stalked out of the dining room. She had his dogtags clutched in her hand. Once he was out of sight, the room erupted into noise, interrupting her reverie.
She suddenly realized that her "intimate" reunion with Logan had just played out in front of a room full of people, one of whom was her boyfriend. She looked around and saw people chattering excitedly, most of them grinning -- smirking even -- in her direction.
As she moved away from the table, she could see Jean approaching her, looking concerned. She didn't feel capable of facing anyone right now, let alone someone who could probably read her jumbled thoughts without even trying, so she turned away.
She put her head down and rushed to escape the dining room, blushing painfully, and ran smack into Bobby, who stood, literally frozen to the floor. His sneakers were encased in ice and icy streamers radiated from them out across the floor. He was pale; he looked as if he'd been kicked in the stomach. She tried to think of something to say. "Bobby," was all she came up with. Bobby. Her boyfriend. The guy who'd taken her to countless movies and teased her into laughing when she was moody. Which, she had to admit, was pretty often.
He just looked at her and held up a hand. "Can we not do this in front of an audience?" he said, his voice tight.
It had to be just as embarrassing for him, she thought, scrambling for the right words. "I'll be in my room," she managed, and fled, leaving him stuck -- the center of attention. Dammit, Bobby thought, he had never flustered her like that, even during their make-out sessions. John hurried over to melt the ice, which left a puddle around Bobby's feet. It was something out of an ex-bedwetter's nightmare. Everyone tried not to stare.
Rogue could hear someone behind her as she reached the second floor, and then a hand grabbed her arm and spun her around. It was Kitty, looking furious. Kitty, who'd listened to her cry herself to sleep every night for months after Logan left, and who understood better than anyone just what Logan's smiles and touches meant to her.
"So that's the kind of friend you are, huh?" Kitty snapped. "You get what you want and you leave the people who care about you twisting in the wind."
"Kitty," she croaked. Her voice wasn't working right. "It's not like that."
"Then how is it?" the other girl asked. "You want to live in your fantasy world, where the handsome prince comes to rescue the princess? Wake up, Rogue. You're not a princess, you don't need rescuing and your prince ditched you and disappeared for two years.
"Who held your hand? Who would do anything to make you laugh? Bobby, that's who. And Logan waltzes back into your life after two years of nothing and smiles at you, and you're ready to forget all about the guy who was here when you needed him. Well, you don't deserve him. You don't treat people like that. I hope you realize that when Logan leaves again and you're all alone. You think he wants a kid like you when he could have any woman he wanted? Why would he want to be with someone he can't even touch? You're just being stupid, Rogue."
Kitty paused, but only because she'd run out of breath. Rogue had never seen her so angry. "I," she began, when comprehension dawned. Rogue, you really are stupid, she thought. "You, you're in love with Bobby."
It was Kitty's turn to blush furiously. She hadn't thought she was so transparent. "He's my friend," she shot back, "and I don't want to see him get hurt."
"Kitty, I never meant--" Rogue began.
"Oh, you never meant, nobody ever means anybody to get hurt, but somebody always does, Rogue." Her voice softened slightly. "Don't you see that?"
And she did. She really did.
Another voice interrupted. "Kitty." It was Bobby. His feet were bare. The color had returned to his face, but his blue eyes still looked pained. Kitty put her hand on his arm, her face concerned. "I need to talk to Rogue," he said. Disappointment flashed across Kitty's face, but she controlled her expression so he wouldn't notice.
She shot Rogue a fierce look. "I'm not done with you," she said, flinging the words over her shoulder as she went back downstairs.
"Um, my room?" Rogue asked. He nodded. They walked down the hall in silence. She wondered how she could explain what had just happened. What had happened? she thought. Not much. And yet everything had changed.
They went into her room and she sat on the bed. Bobby remained standing. She glanced up at him and then carefully placed Logan's dogtags on the night table. He watched, then closed his eyes for a moment. He felt like screaming and crying at the same time. He did neither.
"Rogue," he said, "I just -- I know--" He was hurt and angry and could barely form a coherent thought. The lump in his throat made speaking difficult. He tried again. "I can't say I understand what just happened, but I want you to know it doesn't have to change things with us. I," he paused and swallowed hard. She wouldn't look at him -- she was staring at her hands. "I love you," he blurted. That got her attention. Her eyes widened and her lips parted in a small gasp. "I know you care about me, and I think we're good together. I'll do whatever you want. Just, please, don't throw us away. Think about it for a while. Please." He leaned forward, his hand mere fractions of an inch away from her skin, tracing the curve of her cheek. She held her breath, preparing to pull away, but he simply dropped his hand and touched her shoulder softly. Then he left before she could say anything.
She sat on the bed a long time, trying to sort out her feelings. She wasn't sure she could choose between Logan and Bobby; she wasn't sure Logan was even offering himself up as a choice. What if Kitty was right? He could have anyone he wanted, so why would he want her? He probably saw her as just a kid, someone who needed taking care of. Her mind skittered away from that possibility. She didn't want to think about that now.
She wondered why it had taken her so long to figure out that she and Logan weren't the only people involved in this, whatever "this" was. Bobby, and now Kitty apparently, also had a stake in it. When did it all get so complicated? she thought. I just wanted Logan to come back and love me. And now he's back, and he seems happy to see me, but Bobby's hurt. I just want it to all be okay.
She stared out the window, wondering if it ever would be okay again.
End