Part Three

Rogue woke in a panic the next morning, unsure of where she was. She tried to sit up, but found that something heavy was holding her to the bed. She realized that is was an arm draped around her waist and then it became clear as to where she was—with Logan! Marie smiled in delight as she moved closer to him. Finally, she had the man of her dreams!

She felt Logan stirring behind her. He kissed her hair. "Mornin’ Marie," he said, the sleepy-husky sound of his voice making Marie shiver.

"Mornin’ Logan. Sleep okay?" she asked, realizing that she didn’t quite know what she was supposed to say in her current situation.

Logan’s kisses trailed from her hair, down the side of her face, and across her shoulder. "Slept great, Darlin’. Didn’t even have any nightmares. For the little time we were sleepin’ that is."

Marie blushed as she thought over the previous night. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever thought anything like that could ever happen between her and Logan. But it had, and here she was, wrapped up in his arms. She wanted to tell him she loved him—sober this time—but she was too afraid of scaring him off again.

Logan stopped for a moment, then rolled Marie over so she was facing him. He looked into her eyes and frowned. "You okay, Marie?"

"Of course, Logan! Why wouldn’t I be?"

Logan stroked her cheek with his thumb. "Last night. You’re okay with what happened with us?"

"What happened last night that I might not be okay with."

"We had sex, Marie."

Marie laughed. "I sorta noticed that, Logan. I just don’t see why I’d have a problem with it." She frowned. "Unless you have a problem with it."

Logan pulled her to him so her head was resting on her chest. "Last night was great, Darlin’. Meant a lot to me."

Marie smiled at him and suddenly the words just tumbled out before she could stop them. "I love you, Logan."

He blinked back, looking surprised, but then leaned down and kissed her forehead when he noticed her wince. "I know, Marie. And it’s all right—really."

It wasn’t quite the answer Rogue had wanted, but she figured it was better than, "Uh…that’s nice…look at the time," or something similar.

She decided to change the subject. "You don’t have anything to eat, do you?"

Logan grinned, remembering back to when he’d first met her. "Well, about all they have at this place is stale doughnuts and weak coffee. But there’s a little place down the road that makes breakfast all right. No beef jerky though, I’m sorry…"

Rogue giggled. "That’ll do. I’m not quite hungry enough this time to actually eat beef jerky."

"Now there’s absolutely nothing wrong with beef jerky."

"Sure, when you’ve got teeth as sharp as yours!"

"I didn’t see you havin’ any problems with it."

"You’d be amazed what you can pull off when you’re starving."

"So are you starvin’ now—or could you wait a little while?"

"Depends. What you have in mind to distract me from my hunger."

Logan grinned and moved over her, and Rogue knew her stomach wouldn't distract her again for quite some time.


Neither Logan nor Marie said anything for a long time as they sat together at breakfast. Marie picked at her eggs, suddenly too nervous to eat. She looked over at Logan and noticed he seemed distracted, too. What if now, in the light of day and out in the real world, he was seeing things differently. What if he thought the night before was a mistake?

"Ain’tcha gonna eat, Darlin’?" Logan asked.

Marie looked up at the sound of his voice. "Yeah." She took a bite of toast, but didn’t attempt to eat anything else.

Logan frowned. "What’s wrong?"

Marie forced herself to look into his eyes. "Are you going to send me back home now?"

Logan’s brow furrowed. "What makes you say that?"

Marie looked back down and shrugged. "Well, you left after I told you I lo…after I said that stuff when I was drunk, and I just thought maybe you’d want me gone now that we’ve…"

The feel of Logan taking her hand made Marie stopped short. "Marie…Darlin’…don’t think what happened between us was just a one night stand. I know I panicked and left before when ya said you loved me, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about ya. When you said that, it just took me by surprise and made me have to sort out a few things, that’s all. But last night meant something to me. Don’t think it didn’t. I couldn’t stand to think I’d hurt you like that."

Hope gleamed in Marie’s eyes. "Does that mean I can stay here with you for a little while, Logan?"

"Yeah, Darlin’, it does."

"Logan, I…"

"Eat your eggs, Marie."

Marie just smiled and finished her breakfast.


Logan watched as Marie sat on his bed, painting her toes some girlie shade of pink. "Don’t spill that Pepto-Bismol lookin’ stuff on my sheets…"

Marie rolled her eyes. "The color’s called cupcake, Logan."

Logan grinned. "Sorry. I should’ve known that."

"Has anyone ever told you how annoying you are?"

"Sure, you do every day. But then again, you’re still sleepin’ in my bed, so you must just be makin’ it up."

"No, you’re just sexy and damn good in bed, so I figure that outweighs all your annoying qualities."

"Well, I’m glad I can be forgiven."

Marie giggled.

Logan smiled at her. "You’re cute."

"Thanks."

"Really. Sitting there, painting your toes like that…you’re adorable."

"Then why were you picking on me about it?" Marie asked, paying more attention to her feet than to Wolverine.

"Because it’s fun."

"Gee, thanks. I’m glad to know that tormenting me amuses you."

"Doing other things to you amuses me, too," Logan said, wagging his eyebrows up and down.

Marie sighed. "You’re incorrigible."

"And you want me anyway."

"I do? Why?"

"I think this goes back to the whole me being ‘sexy and damn good in bed’ thing."

Marie sighed. "Oh, yeah…"

Logan came over and sat on the bed with her. "The paint job does look nice, though. Good color for you."

"Thanks."

"Hey, Marie?"

"Yeah?"

"I’ve liked havin’ ya here with me. It’s the first time in a long time that I haven’t been lonely at all. You make me happy."

Marie looked away from her toes. "Thank you, Logan. That means a lot to me."

He reached out and held her face. "And you mean a lot to me, Marie."

She blushed. "I…I…I don’t want to smear the polish."

Logan chuckled. "All right, Darlin’. We won’t then."

"Logan?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you really like having me around?"

"Of course I do. If I didn’t I would’ve left that first night, two weeks ago."

"Are you going to leave?"

"When?"

"Ever."

"I don’t know."

Marie focused back on her toes again, feeling a stab of pain in her stomach that Logan didn’t just automatically tell her that no, of course he’d never leave her. She tried to focus on the fact he hadn’t told her that he was definitely leaving either, but still, it hurt.

"Marie…Marie, look at me…"

She forced her gaze upwards.

"Marie, I’m not the sort of guy who can make any promises about his future. I don’t know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, or the day after that. Hell, I don’t even know what’s gonna happen five minutes from now, but I can tell you that I will never leave you completely Marie, no matter what."

"I know that, Logan. I guess what I’m really askin’ is, are you gonna run again?"

"Why do you have to ask stuff like that?" Logan asked as he got off the bed and started pacing. "Isn’t right now good enough for you? Why do you have to ruin a perfectly good moment by dwellin’ on the bad things that could happen?"

Marie put the top back on her nail polish and set it on the dresser. "I’m not ‘dwelling on the bad things that could happen,’ Logan. I’m just worried. Things have been good these past couple of weeks, and I’m happy with you, but I never know where things stand, whether or not you’re gonna be there when I turn around. Yesterday when I woke up and you were in the other room, I panicked. I thought you’d left me again, and I didn’t know what to do. How can I live with uncertainty like that hanging over me all the time?"

Logan stopped, facing away from her. "I…I don’t know, Darlin’."

Marie got up, careful not to smear her toes, and walked over to Logan. She ran her hand tentatively down his shoulder blade, then wrapped her slender arms around his waist. "Logan, please…I don’t want things between us to be hard on you, but I don’t want them to hard on me, either. And you’re right…what we have now is great and I’m enjoying it more than I ever have anything else, but I don’t want this to be all there is for us. I love you."

Logan turned around, wanting to say something, but found all his words lost in her deep brown eyes. He leaned in and kissed her, savoring the taste of her mouth, the feel of her body molding to his, and wanting to give her so much more than he could. He led her over to the bed and loved her in the way that often felt like the only way he knew how.


Logan held Marie late into the night, watching the peaceful expression on her face as she slept. He kept playing their earlier conversation in his head and remembering the way she’d clung to him as they’d made love. He brushed a lock of moonlit hair away from her face. She loved him—wanted him to be there for her, and be the kind of man women like her dreamed about. Logan knew he’d never be anything but a disappointment to her, and that thought tore him apart.

I never meant to stay an hour
I thought that I was passing through
Another town along the highway
I never meant to fall for you

The song Logan had heard before, back in New York with Marie played through his head now. It seemed so fitting now, as Logan thought about how he’d ended up with her. He certainly hadn’t been looking for anything like this when he’d gone into that bar in Laughlin City, and not even when he’d agreed to stay in Westchester until Professor Xavier figured out what Magneto wanted. But here she was, and somehow she’d found a way into his heart.

"I don’t deserve you, Baby," he murmured, pressing a small kiss into her temple. He started thinking about what had made him leave her back in New York in the first place. She thought that he was afraid of her love, but that wasn’t it at all. It was the knowledge that he would someday hurt her and there was no way to avoid it.

He thought back to where it had began for him, back in the bar when Rogue had walked in, dressed to kill. She’d reeked of trouble, and Logan had loved it. He hadn’t thought of what would happen the next morning, or any day afterwards. All that had mattered to him was he’d wanted her and she’d wanted him.

When I sleep with you, Maria
There's nothing left for dreams to steal

Then, the next morning, he hadn’t wanted to leave. He’d loved the feel of her in his arms, the shy smile she’d worn, the way she’d blushed when she said she loved him. She was so innocent, so pure—so in love.

"She doesn’t need to be mixed up with a man like me…"

Logan winced at the thought. He’d known that from the start, but he’d let himself fall into her arms. Part of him wanted to take her away with him, somewhere where they could really be together, away from everyone and everything else, and he could be happy. But he knew that wasn’t what Marie needed. She needed someone who could give her what she needed, the kind of love she deserved. "Someone like that Bobby kid that’s so wild about her," Logan thought.

He took Marie into his arms and rolled her over on his chest. She whimpered a little, but quickly nestled into him. He held her tightly, not sure of what he was going to do, but knowing whatever it was, it would be what was best for Marie.

When the sunlight brings the mornin'
I can't tell you what I'll do
But I've a mind to take you with me
And I've got a heart to stay with you


Marie woke up the next morning to a cold, empty bed. "Logan?" she called. No answer. "Logan?"

Still no answer and she panicked. "Logan!"

The silence tore at her stomach as she bolted up. She looked beside her where Logan slept and saw a piece of paper on his pillow. Her heart sank as she realized what it was.

Marie—

I don’t know quite how to say this to make you understand, but leaving was what I had to do. If I stayed with you, it just wouldn’t be right. Like you said last night, you could never be sure with me, and that isn’t fair to you. You want a man who can give his promise of commitment, and no matter how badly I want to, I can’t. I’m not leaving because I don’t love you, but I’m because I do. I love you as much as I’ve ever loved anyone, Darlin’, which is why I have to step back. You’re the kind of woman who deserves a man who can give her a home, a family, and I can never do that. You need to find someone else, someone who can do what I can’t. I know this is breaking your heart, and I hate that I had to leave this way, but it’s what I had to do. Someday you’ll realize that, too.

I’ll always be with you, Marie, and someday, I’ll see you again. Hopefully by then you’ll have found what you need.

—Logan

Rogue balled the letter up and threw it at the wall with all her strength. How could he do this to her? Didn’t he know that she didn’t care about a home, or a family, or any of those things? She only wanted him, dammit!

She turned around and started punching her pillow, hot tears stinging her eyes. She’d always been afraid he’d leave again but still, in the back of her mind, she’d never believed that Logan would actually be capable of doing that to her—after all, he’d sworn to take care of her. But he’d done it. He’d caused her the greatest pain she’d ever known, and all under the guise of protecting her. God, how it hurt.

Rogue lay in the bed for the next few hours, just staring up at the ceiling and letting the tears flow. All too soon, however, she knew she had to get up. It was time for her to return to the mansion, rejected and alone.


"Rogue!" Jubilee exclaimed as the door opened and her friend walked in.

Rogue walked over to her bed and slung her bag down. "Hey, Jubilee. Hey, Kitty."

"Where have you been?" Kitty asked, looking up from her magazine.

"I took a spontaneous vacation."

"To where?" Jubilee asked.

"Nowhere important."

"Rogue, something’s wrong," Kitty said. "What is it?"

"I’d rather not talk about it." Rogue took some clothes out of her bag and handed them to Jubilee. "Here, I borrowed these from you."

Jubilee took the clothes from Rogue. "Um…thanks…" She looked up at Rogue’s neck and noticed something was missing. "Where are Wolverine’s dogtags?"

"I took them off."

"Why?"

"They were chaffing."

"Riiight," Jubilee said. "Rogue, what’s going on?"

Rogue sat down on her bed and buried her face in her hands. "I’m an idiot."

Kitty came up behind her and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "No you aren’t. Rogue, please, tell us what’s going on. We’ve been worried about you."

"Yeah, you just disappeared for two weeks," Jubilee said. "We’re your best friends. You can’t keep us out like this."

When Rogue looked up, tears were streaming from her cheeks. "I went up to Canada to see Logan," she said. "I didn’t want to sit back and let him walk away this time. And, well, we got together for a little while. It was wonderful, being with him, holding him, looking him in the eyes and knowing he was mine. But he…he…he left."

Jubilee’s face twitched with anger. "That bastard!" She jumped up and started pacing. "How could he do that to you! What, did he think you’d be good for a quick roll in the hay and then he could break your heart like he has a million times before?! What a fucking bastard!"

"It wasn’t like that, Jubilee. That isn’t what Logan meant to do at all."

"But it’s what he did!"

Rogue looked down again. "He said he it was because he didn’t want to hurt me."

Jubilee rolled her eyes. "Oh please. Why do guys always do that? ‘I’m hurting you so I won’t hurt you.’ Is logic completely lost on them?"

"I know it doesn’t make any sense," Rogue said, "But I guess he really thought it would be better like this. Logan would never do anything to hurt me…"

"You really believe that?" Jubilee asked. "Dammit, Rogue, that’s all Logan’s been doing since the beginning. He’s never been here when you needed him, and all he ever does is leave you jus as soon as he’s won your trust again!"

"You’re wrong!" Rogue said. "Logan has been there for me! He was there for me on top of the Statue of Liberty! He saved my life that night, Jubilee!"

"Yeah, well, what has he done for you since then besides continuously rip out your heart and spit on all that love you have for him?"

Rogue jumped up, almost causing Kitty, who had been watching the debate between Rogue and Jubilee with her eyes wide, to topple over. "You don’t understand anything! Logan loves me! He’s just gone through things that you could never even dream of, Jubilation. He hasn’t been able to get over that."

"So that gives him the right to take advantage of you."

"He didn’t take advantage of me! I went to him, Jubilee! I know what kind of man he is; I set myself up for this!"

"You can say you know what kind of man he is," Jubilee said "but I don’t think you do. You have this naïve belief that one of these days Logan’s just going to decide the two of you are some sort of soul mates and turn away from the only way of life he’s ever know so he can settle down with you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Rogue, but that ain’t gonna happen!"

"I am not naïve!" Rogue yelled. "I know exactly what I’m getting into with Logan! Dammit, Jubilee, I’ve had a hard enough time recently without you acting like a total bitch."

"Rogue, look, I know what I’m saying is harsh, but I’m telling you like a friend. This whole thing with Logan is tearing you apart. Something’s gotta give!"

"I’m fine, Jubilee!"

"No you’re not! You mope around the mansion all the time—you’re only happy when Logan’s here—and then you run off to God knows where just to find him?! You don’t think about anyone but yourself and your own self-pity!"

"That is not true!"

"Oh no? Why don’t you go ask Bobby!"

"What does Bobby have to do with this?"

"He loves you!"

"Since when were you in the ‘Supporters of Bobby Drake’ club?" Rogue asked.

Jubilee sighed. "I’m not, I’m just saying it isn’t fair to him when you’re all starry-eyed over a guy that’s never going to give you what you want and you won’t even give poor Bobby a real chance!"

"Whether or not I choose to give Bobby a chance with me is none of your business."

"Yes it is! I’m your friend, Rogue! I care about you!"

"It’s my life, Jubilee! If you were a real friend, you’d stay the hell out!" Rogue stormed out of the room, slamming the door as hard as she could behind her and making the whole room shake.

Jubilee sighed as she threw herself back on her bed and just stared up at the ceiling. Kitty opened her mouth to say something, but decided better of it and went back to her part of the room to read the rest of her magazine.


Rogue climbed up to the roof of the mansion to watch the stars. The night sky was beautiful, and she couldn’t help but hope, wherever Logan was, he could see it, too. The emptiness his absence was causing her was a million times greater than it ever had been before, and her chest felt so tight that she wasn’t sure how she was still breathing.

Tears were rolling down her face, but Rogue wasn’t even aware that she was crying. All she could think about was how wonderful being with Logan had been and what a fool she’d been to think it was going to last. She knew that one of the reasons that she had gotten so angry at Jubilee was that Jubilee had hit a nerve, since, at least partway, she had been right.

"Um, Rogue, do you mind if I come out here and sit with you?" Bobby asked timidly.

"Of course not, Bobby," Rogue said as she wiped her eyes that she suddenly realized were wet. "Have a seat."

"Kitty told me you got in a fight with Jubilee."

Rogue nodded. "Yeah, she was trying to tell me how to run my life again."

"She was just trying to help you out." Bobby noticed Rogue get a little angry at his defense of Jubilee and quickly added, "But she really should’ve just left you alone. Especially since you obviously looked pretty bummed out."

"Bummed out, huh?" Rogue said with a small smile. "That’s a mild evaluation."

"What happened Rogue?"

"You don’t want to hear it."

"Yes I do."

"Bobby, I know how you feel about me, and…"

"That doesn’t change my desire to be there for you no matter what the problem is," Bobby finished for her. "Sure, I’m crazy about you, Rogue, and I’m not exactly so fond of Logan. I’ve never made any secrets about that. But if you need someone to listen to your troubles—even if they’re how much he’s broken your heart and how in love with him you are—then I’m here to listen. I don’t want to let my feelings interfere with our friendship."

Rogue smiled. "You’re a great guy, Bobby Drake."

"Yeah, so I’ve been told. Of course, it’s usually right before the girl ruffles my hair and tells me she loves me—in a brother-sister sort of way."

"I’m sorry, Bobby."

"Don’t be Rogue. I’ve come to accept my lot in life as the unloved clown of the mansion. Besides, we aren’t talking about me here."

"I know. It’s just so hard to say what I think these days."

"Well, why don’t you just explain to me what happened," Bobby said.

Rogue took a deep breath. "Okay, here goes. If you don’t want to hear anything I’m telling you, feel free to tell me, all right?"

"All right."

"See, on my twenty-first birthday, I had a bit too much to drink and let it slip to Logan that I loved him."

"Didn’t he know?"

Rogue shrugged. "I guess not. Or maybe he was just trying to pretend it didn’t make a difference how I felt about him." Rogue saw Bobby wince at her obvious reference to the earlier part of their conversation. "Anyway, I told him and he bolted. It hurt so badly, and I just knew that I couldn’t let Logan get away this time.

"So I packed up and followed him to Canada. I talked to the Professor before I left and he told me it was all right, and let me know where I could find Logan, and I was off. I went to this bar where he was fighting, and well, I guess I seduced him." Rogue stopped short as she suddenly broke into a fit of giggles.

"What’s so funny?" Bobby asked.

"Oh, just looking back and reminding myself that I really did that," Rogue replied. "I mean, I showed up in this seedy bar in backwater Canada and put on this whole little seductress routine for Logan. I even wore one of Jubilee’s dresses."

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Wish I’d seen that. Well, you in Jubilee’s dress—not you going after Logan."

"I figured."

"So did you get him?"

"Yeah, I did. And for two weeks everything was great. I had the time of my life, and I think Logan liked being with me, too. But I always had lingering doubts, you know? I guess it was from all the times he’d left in the past. But I kept telling myself not to worry about it. We hadn’t been a couple before, so things were different. He wouldn’t leave me this time. But then I told him I was afraid he’d leave, and that I wanted to know for certain if he was staying. I woke up the next morning alone."

"He didn’t even say anything to you before he left?" Bobby asked.

"Well, he left me a note."

Bobby tried to suppress his quickly rising anger. He took a deep breath and wrapped his arm around Rogue. "I’m…I’m sorry. I can’t believe any man would be stupid enough to let you go like that."

"He said that he loves me, but I deserve someone else—someone who can give me something better than he can."

"Finally, something Logan and I agree on," Bobby thought. "Maybe he’s right. Maybe you will find someone better."

"There isn’t anyone better. I love him with all my heart."

"I know."

Rogue looked up at Bobby, her big, tear-filled eyes breaking his heart. "Is it me, Bobby? Am I not good enough to keep Logan? Is there something wrong with me?"

Bobby had never wanted to hurt anyone more than he wanted to hurt Logan right then. He pulled her to him. "No, Rogue. Please, don’t think anything like that. There’s obviously something wrong with him, not you. You’re perfect."

"I think I may have just asked for a biased opinion," Rogue said.

Bobby chuckled. "Maybe. But no matter whatever happens, I’ll always love you."

"I know."

The two of them sat under the stars in silence, Rogue thankful for companionship and Bobby clinging to the little bit of time in which Rogue was actually in his arms.


Rogue returned to her room later in the night to find Jubilee still up, watching television. "Um, where’s Kitty?" Rogue asked.

"I think she’s staying in Peter’s room tonight."

"I’m surprised she hasn’t moved in there yet."

"I don’t think she’s quite ready for that level of commitment."

"Yeah."

Rogue went over to her closet, pulled out a pair of shorts and a T-shirt, and started changing for bed. The tension level in the room was high, and she regretted fighting with Jubilee the way she had earlier. "So, what are you watching?"

"Letterman."

"Anybody good on?"

"That Hugh Jackman guy you like so much was on earlier."

"And I missed it?"

"I taped it for you," Jubilee said, never once turning away from the television.

"Thanks," Rogue said, feeling even worse for their earlier argument. She smiled a little. "I still say he looks like Logan."

"Oh come on. You see Logan’s face in your mashed potatoes."

"He does! Add some sideburns and they’d look exactly alike."

"Okay, get me a picture of Hugh Jackman, I’ll draw on a hairstyle reminiscent of former President Martin VanBuren and we’ll see."

"Done," Rogue said, pulling out a magazine with him on the cover. She handed Jubilee the magazine and a black magic marker.

Jubilee rolled her eyes, but drew her artistic masterpiece anyway. She regarded the picture for a moment, then burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh my God, he does!"

Rogue started laughing, too. "I told you."

Jubilee sat up and looked at her best friend. "I’m sorry for fighting with you earlier."

"I’m sorry, too," Rogue said.

"I just really worry about you, Rogue. And I know I shouldn’t—your life and all—but I can’t help it. I love ya, you know?"

"I know, Jubes, and I love ya, too. This is just something I need to work out myself, okay?"

Jubilee nodded. "Okay, I understand. But remember, if you ever need anything, I’m here for you."

"I know. And trust me, if I ever need help, you’ll be the first to know."


Logan had never felt so lonely in his life. He lay alone on the bed in his hotel room, watching a roach scurry across his floor. He hadn’t slept in days. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Marie. He knew that wherever she was she was hurting, and that thought only seemed to amplify his own pain.

He’s never wanted it to be that way. Logan hoped she knew that and could understand why leaving was for the best. After all, she had wanted to know when it would all end, and now, well, she knew.

He figured she had probably returned to the mansion and he wanted to go there, even for a moment, just to see her and know she was all right. But he couldn’t. Logan knew the moment he looked into her eyes it would be all over for him and he’d just go right back to ruining her life.

Logan regretted ever going into the bar in Laughlin City, regretted ever letting a small, scared girl hitch a ride in his truck. She would’ve been okay if they’d never met, right? Surely the X-Men would’ve found her, saved her from Magneto, without his help. And then he never would’ve been able to hurt her, never been able to give her the flashes of memories that haunted his dreams, never would’ve made her cry.

Never would’ve broken her heart.

It was that thought that hit Logan the hardest. She had given him her love so completely, and he had thrown it back in her face. "It was for her own good," he kept reminding himself. "It was for her own good."

He knew that Rogue would find happiness without him, and that, in the end, her life would be better because he wasn’t a part of it. The small amount of pain he had caused her now would save her from much more heartache in the future. He told himself that over and over again.

It was the only way he could live with himself.

Now the only problem was, how was he going to get by without her?


Rogue spent the few months avoiding all questions concerning Logan and just where she had disappeared to for two weeks. She did her best to always remain smiling and happy, trying to keep people—Jubilee in particular—from worrying about her. She kept Wolverine’s dogtags in a box, and forced herself to keep him out of her mind. She told herself that he was an addiction, and no matter how hard it hurt, loving him was a habit she had to break.

This time she knew he was gone for good.

Rogue spent much of her time socializing with the other people in the mansion and trying to keep her mind off things by never letting herself be alone long enough for the thoughts of Logan to come creeping back. As her college studies wound to a close, the Professor offered a position at the school as a teacher at the school, which she happily accepted.

After becoming Xavier’s School for the Gifted’s newest social studies teacher, Rogue tearfully moved out of the room she’d shared with Kitty and Jubilee since she’d first arrived, and into the teacher’s wing. She loved both her roommates like sisters, but she knew it was time for her to grow up a little more and move on. Besides, she knew it probably wouldn’t be too long until Jubilee and Kitty moved upstairs themselves.

Rogue carried the last box to her new room, then sat down and took a look around, surveying her surroundings. The room was nice and spacious, and she hadn’t realized how much she’d missed her privacy until she had it back.

Someone knocked at the door. "Come in!" Rogue called.

Jean Grey-Summers walked into the room. She smiled at Rogue. "Hey. Just wanted to stop by and tell you welcome to the neighborhood."

Rogue chuckled. "Thanks."

"And if you need anything at all, Scott and I are just across the hall. Don’t hesitate to ask us."

"All right."

"I really think you’re going to make a wonderful teacher," Jean told her. "I have a lot of confidence in your abilities, and I know, no matter what road you take, you’ll always be successful."

Jean’s compliment made Rogue beam. "Thank you, Jean. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I look up to you, you know. I have since I first got here. You have so much poise and grace and you’re always in control. I wish I could handle things the way you do."

"Don’t sell yourself short," Jean said. "You’re a rather impressive person yourself."

Rogue gave Jean a hug. "I’m glad to know you think that."

Jean hugged the younger woman back. "You better get some sleep. You have your first class in the morning, and trust me, you’re going to need all the rest you can get."


Ten minutes into her first class and Rogue could see what Jean had meant about her needing rest. It was the first class at Xavier’s for her students, too, and they had not yet quite adjusted to life at their new school. They were talking non-stop, giving mini power demonstrations, etc. One boy was actually even literally climbing the walls.

"Uh, please, could you be quiet and sit down," Rogue called again with her already sore throat. "We need to start class."

If anyone heard her, they certainly didn’t acknowledge the fact she had spoken, and Rogue was becoming so exasperated she was almost to the point of tears. She wished for a moment that she had some impressive power—like flight. Maybe if she was able to do somersaults in the air the class would pay attention to her.

"Hey! Didn’t you hear the lady!" A voice suddenly boomed in the room. "I believe she told you heathens to be quiet. Think you can do that for her or am I going to have to make you?"

The sound of the newcomer jarred the students out of their revelry, and they all sat down in their seats. Rogue looked up across the room at Bobby Drake, who had the sternest expression on his face that she had ever seen him wear. "Thank you," she mouthed.

Bobby gave her a quick wink, then quickly frowned again. "Now it just isn’t polite to treat your teacher that way. Miss Rogue is a really nice lady and she deserves your attention. I’m going to go, and you are all going to behave. If you don’t, then you’ll find out exactly how cold a deep freeze is. Got it?"

The class nodded.

"Good. See ya around, Rogue," Bobby said, leaving the classroom. Rogue gave him a nod goodbye, then turned back to her now-attentive class, ready to teach.


Rogue caught up with Bobby during the lunch break. "I wanted to say thanks again for handling my class the way you did. I was about at my limit, and I don’t think I could’ve gotten loud enough to be heard over them."

"Oh it was no problem. I walked by the classroom and saw you were having trouble and knew I couldn’t exactly leave you to the wolves like that."

"Well I’m glad you walked by when you did. One question though."

"Shoot."

"How’d you manage to look so mean? I didn’t think you had it in you, Drake."

Bobby shrugged. "I did my best impersonation of my father."

Rogue raised an eyebrow. "Must’ve been fun growing up in your house."

"Oh it was a regular laugh riot. Hey, wanna grab a bite to eat with me?"

"I don’t know…I really should get back to the classroom. I want plenty of time to prepare for my after-lunch class."

"Oh come on. You still owe me for that time you stood me up right after you got here."

"I told you I did meet you! And you told me to leave the mansion!"

"I did nothing of the sort!"

"Let’s not rehash five-year-old arguments, okay?"

"Then eat lunch with me and we’ll call it even."

Rogue sighed. "Fine, Bobby, you win. Let’s go."


"Thanks again for saving me in there," Rogue said as she sat down with Bobby to eat lunch.

"You’re welcome," Bobby said. "Although I think you probably could’ve calmed them down on your own if you’d gotten a little louder."

Rogue shook her head. "I don’t think so. I’m just not that mean."

"Ha! You can be plenty mean when you want to be. Trust me on that one. You’ve ripped into me enough."

Rogue laughed. "Yeah, well, it’s easy to yell at you."

Bobby smiled. "You wound my pride."

"What pride?"

"The pride I used to have until you killed it, you mean, mean woman!"

"I’ve killed your pride, huh? Well, looks like my mission is complete."

"I knew it! You are out to get me!"

"But of course!"

After he and Rogue shared a laugh, Bobby asked, "So how did your classes go after the little upset in the morning?"

"Oh, fairly well. My first class was well behaved after you came in and shut them up, and I didn’t have too bad of trouble with any of the ones after that. All though I do feel bad for Ms. Munroe after remembering how me, you, Jubilee, and St. John used to act up in her class."

"Hey, Kitty was in on that, too," Bobby pointed out.

"Yeah, but she was good at looking like teacher’s pet as soon as Storm turned around."

"Very true. She could keep a straight face while the rest of us couldn’t keep from snickering."

"What about you?" Rogue asked. "You’re keeping the books for the mansion now, aren’t you?"

"Yeah. Man, the Professor’s got a lot of money. I swear, he could run a small country."

"Look around you. He practically is."

"Very true."

"Have you given any thought to teaching? You obviously have the ability to get control of a classroom."

"Actually, Professor Xavier suggested I teach a class on personal bookkeeping to some of the older kids, and I think I’m going to take him up on the offer."

"I might have to sit in on that one," Rogue said. "I can’t balance a checkbook for anything."

"You know, I could always give you private lessons…" Bobby said with a wink.

Rogue blushed. "I’ll think about it."

"So how many classes do you have today?" Bobby asked.

"Five. One U.S. history, one world history, two American government, and one geography."

"Which was the class this morning."

"That was the geography. I can already tell that class is going to give me trouble. The kids are rowdy and I hate the subject. Maps bore me."

"Yeah, same here, but I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just work that charm of yours on the class and you’ll have them eating out of your hand."

Rogue gave him a puzzled look. "What charm? I don’t think I have any."

"Oh trust me, Rogue, it’s there."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Because you charmed me from the moment you walked into Ms. Munroe’s class."

"Bobby…"

"I know, I know, you don’t want to hear it, but it’s true—though I got used to my love for you being unrequited a long time ago."

"Jubilee said once that it isn’t fair of me not to give you a ‘real chance’ with me. Do you feel the same way?" Rogue asked.

Bobby took a deep breath, trying to think of the best way to answer. "No," he said after a moment. "I don’t feel that way. What wouldn’t be fair would be you getting together with me just because it was something I wanted. You wouldn’t be happy, and in the end, neither would I."

Rogue nodded. "I’m glad you understand that."

"Yeah."

They ate the rest of their meal in silence.


Rogue collapsed on her bed after her first day at work. She’d never thought that teaching could take so much out of a person. She started to say something to Kitty and Jubilee, but then remembered she was alone now. "That’s going to take some getting used to," Rogue thought.

It had been a long day, and Rogue found that all she wanted to do was relax. She got up and started changing out of her clothes and into something comfortable. She climbed back into bed and turned on the television, deciding to see what was on before she went to sleep.

She lay alone, the only sounds in the room those coming from the TV, and she suddenly felt lonelier that she had in a long time. She missed her roommates, the constant sound of their voices had always made the room seem less empty. But most of all, in the silence, she missed Logan. She thought back to those two short weeks she’d spent with him in Canada, and the way it had felt to be in his arms.

The thoughts of Logan made Marie feel cold, and she pulled the blankets around her tightly. She hadn’t let herself cry for Logan since the first night she came back, but now she couldn’t help but let the tears flow. She was desperate for him, even just a part of him. She opened her bedside table drawer and pulled out the small wooden box where she kept Wolverine’s tags. She took them out and clutched the cold metal to her chest.

She cried herself to sleep that night, still holding the dogtags close to her heart.


Rogue sat up late one night in her classroom, grading the stack of tests she had given to her American government classes that day. Scott had laughed when she’d told him that she tried to get test back to her students the day after they’d taken them and had told her that she’d grow out of that soon enough. She’d been surprised that Scott, the mansion’s official overachiever, had had such an attitude, but now she realized how easily it was to get overwhelmed with grading and that this was probably too hard of a task for even him to perform.

Rogue’s eyes started to blur as they darted from the tests to the answer key, and she wished more than anything that she’d just given in and made the test on one of those Scantron sheets. She’d much rather have a machine grading these things for her.

"Burning the midnight oil?"

Rogue looked up. "Bobby! Hey! Come in here and talk to me."

Bobby raised an eyebrow. "Since when did you want my company."

"Since I got so bored that I’d talk to a brick wall if I thought it would respond."

"Gee, thanks."

"Come on, have a seat. You can help me grade these damn things."

"Wow. I get to grade papers. I’m so honored," Bobby said as he pulled a chair up to Rogue’s desk.

"I can tell. You sound thrilled."

"Oh, I am, really," He took a test and Rogue turned the answer key so he could see it to. "So what was the test on anyway?"

"The early political theories that contributed to the Declaration of Independence and, eventually, the Constitution as well."

"Um, sounds, um, exciting."

"You’d like it if I was the one teaching it to you."

"Oh, I don’t doubt that. You could stand up here and talk about knitting for hours and I’d be enthralled."

"Would you be paying attention to a word I was saying?"

"No."

"Well, at least you’re honest."

Bobby and Rogue graded her papers together, with the only conversation for a while occurring when he’d ask her how to score a confusing answer. When they were through, Rogue slumped back in her chair in relief. "Finally!" she said. "Thanks for helping me with that. I was about to go crazy trying to get them done."

"What, have you had them for a month or something?" Bobby asked.

"No, they turned them in today, I just don’t like to make my students wait for their test grades."

"Wow. You’re more of an overachiever that Scott."

"Oh shut up."

"Make me."

Rogue reached up and put her hand over his mouth. Bobby leaned in and kissed it. Rogue pulled her hand away and looked away, blushing.

"I’m…I’m sorry, Rogue. I shouldn’t have done that."

"No, it’s okay. It just surprised me, that’s all."

Rogue looked up, and the sight of her flushed face took Bobby’s breath away. He reached out and cupped her chin in his hand, and she didn’t move. He pulled her face closer, until finally their lips met. Rogue stiffened at first, then relaxed into the kiss. Bobby moved his hands to her back to support her, then gently lifted her up and put her in his lap. Rogue tangled her hands in his hair.

Rogue’s thoughts were in a blur. All she could think was how good it felt to be pressed up against another warm body, to have someone else’s hands and lips on her. She moaned against his mouth and pushed herself closer to him. Rogue could feel his body responding.

Bobby stood up, bringing Rogue with him. She wrapped her legs around his hips and he held on to her with one arm behind her back while he swiped all the papers they’d work so hard to grade on to the floor. He lowered them both down on to the now-cleared desk, never once breaking the kiss.

Their hands were a flurry of motion, and it wasn’t long until both of their shirts ended up on the ground. Bobby’s mouth began to trail from Rogue’s lips down her neck and she ran her hands along his back.

Suddenly, the full impact of what she was doing hit Rogue, and she pushed up on Bobby’s chest. "Wait…Bobby…we need to stop."

He pulled up and looked down at her. "What’s wrong?"

"We can’t do this. It’s too sudden," Rogue said.

"Sudden? Rogue, I’ve been wanting this for five years…"

Rogue pushed him off her and sat up, covering her nearly-bare chest with her arms. "I know, but it’s too sudden for me. I’m not ready to jump into a relationship at this level."

Bobby nodded. "I understand."

"So you’re not mad at me?"

"No. I’m disappointed, but I’m not mad at you. I’m not going to be upset with you because you’re not ready for something like that." He took her face in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. "I love you, Rogue, and yes, I want to sleep with you. No point in denying that. But if you’re not ready for that now and want to wait, or even if you never want to with me, that’s fine. I don’t want to pressure you into something you’re just going to regret."

Rogue’s eyes filled up with tears. "Thank you, Bobby."

Bobby walked over and got Rogue’s shirt, handed it to her, and wiped the tears from her eyes. "Go on and go to bed. I’ll stay and clean up this mess here."

"Thank you," Rogue said softly. She slipped her shirt back on, then gave Bobby a light kiss before running out of the room.

Bobby watched her go, wondering what would happen now.


As soon as her last class was over the next day, Rogue ran up to her old room. "Jubilee, thank God you’re in," she said as her best friend opened the door.

"Um, Rogue, are you okay?" Jubilee asked.

"Is anyone else here?"

"Uh, just Kitty…"

"Good. I need to talk to her, too." Rogue pushed her way into the room and sat down on the couch where her bed used to be. "I have a slight problem."

Kitty and Jubilee both sat across from Rogue on Jubilee’s bed. "What is it?" Kitty asked.

"I almost had sex with Bobby."

"Yeah, I’d have to say that would be a problem," Jubilee said.

"When?" Kitty asked.

"Last night. I was grading papers, and he helped me. We were just talking and the next thing I know we were lying on my desk, ripping each other’s clothes off."

"Dang, Girl, I didn’t know that grading got you teachers so hot and bothered…" Jubilee said.

Rogue frowned. "Ha ha. This is serious!"

"So what do you plan to do about it?" Kitty asked.

"I don’t know. I made him stop last night…I just wasn’t ready for something like that with him."

"Do you think you’d ever be ready?" Kitty asked.

Rogue sighed. "Maybe…I don’t know. I’m so confused!" She buried her face in her hands.

"Well, did you like what was happening between you two up to the point where you stopped?" Jubilee asked.

"Yes, but I don’t know if I liked it because it was Bobby or just because I wasn’t alone."

"Well, maybe you should talk to Bobby about it," Kitty suggested. "You might find you really like him, and maybe you guys could be happy together."

"I think Kitty’s right," Jubilee said. "Bobby could be good for you, Rogue."

"You guys really think so?" Rogue asked.

Jubilee and Kitty both nodded. "Yeah, we do," Jubilee said.

"I just don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship. I mean, I just lost Logan…"

"Rogue, you need to get over Logan," Jubilee said. "He’s gone. Maybe Bobby could be just what you need to get on with your life."

Rogue looked up. "I just don’t know. Do y’all really think Bobby would be right for me?"

"Of course!" Kitty said. "He’s sweet, funny, cute…what more could you need?"

"Fuzzy sideburns and adamantium claws," Rogue thought dryly. "I can’t think of anything," she said.

"You really should pursue this thing with Bobby," Jubilee said. "Even if you just start out with something small—a dinner date maybe."

"Yeah…" Rogue said. "Dinner couldn’t hurt."

"So go talk to him," Jubilee said.

"Yeah, go talk to Bobby," Kitty urged. "You two really would make the perfect couple."

Rogue stood up. "Okay, I’ll go talk to him. Maybe it could work with us."

"I’m sure it will," Kitty said.

"Thanks, y’all," Rogue said, leaving to find Bobby.


Rogue felt like she was hyperventilating as soon as she knocked on Bobby’s door. What was she going to say? She’d felt so confident when she was talking to Kitty and Jubilee, but now…now she wasn’t so sure.

"Yes?"

Rogue looked up, startled, and then realized Bobby’s roommate, St. John, had answered the door. "Um, is Bobby there?"

"Yeah. I’ll get him for ya. Hey, Robert, girl for you at the door!"

Bobby stepped out a moment later. He was wearing a T-shirt and sweatpants, and Rogue could tell from his wet hair that he’d just recently gotten out of the shower. "Uh, hey, Rogue."

"Hey, Bobby."

"I’ll, um, leave you two alone," St. John said, slipping back into the room.

"So, what brings you here?" Bobby asked.

"I wanted to talk." Rogue paused, then added quickly. "About last night."

"Rogue, look, I’m sorry about that. Things got carried away, I didn’t mean for that to happen. Don’t be upset with me."

"No! I mean, I’m not upset with you at all. Actually, I was thinking maybe we could do something tonight. But you don’t look like you were exactly prepared to go anywhere…"

"Uh, I can get ready real quick, I swear," Bobby said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Dinner maybe? Outside the mansion?"

"Sounds good. Meet you in half an hour and we’ll decide where to go from there?"

"Great. I’ll meet you in the foyer at…" Rogue looked down at her watch. "Five thirty?"

"I’ll be there."

Rogue smiled. "Okay. See you then."

Bobby smiled back. "See you then."


Rogue glanced at herself in the mirror, searching for any imperfection she may have left uncovered. "Don’t be stupid, Girl," she chided herself. "Bobby’ll like ya no matter what you look like. After all, he’s seen ya at your worst and still kept on loving you."

She took a deep breath as she went to her closet and pulled out her jacket. She slipped it on and put her hand into the pocket. She felt a crumpled piece of paper in and took it out. She unfolded it, and as her eyes glanced over the first few words, she felt her heart stop.

Marie—

I don’t know quite how to say this to make you understand, but leaving…

Rogue crumpled the paper again and threw it to ground as if it were on fire. Why had she picked the jacket she’d worn on her trip home from Canada? She hadn’t worn it since she’d gotten back, and she had plenty of other ones to choose from.

Rogue frowned. Maybe it was a sign. But what kind of sign? Was it a sign that she shouldn’t go out with Bobby because she wasn’t over Logan enough yet, or a sign that she should go out with Bobby because Logan was all wrong for her. She bounced the two possibilities around in her head for a moment before deciding that trying to read into signs was a waste of her time.

She put the jacket on and left the room. The letter remained in a ball on the floor.


Bobby looked across the table at Rogue. He couldn’t believe he was there, with her—on a real date. After so many years of waiting, he was so close to having the woman of his dreams. He reached out and took Rogue’s hand. She just smiled at him and didn’t pull away.

"I'm glad you wanted to come out with me tonight," Bobby said.

"Me, too," Rogue said. "I'm having a good time with you."

"Rogue, I need to ask you something," Bobby said, pulling his hand away. "It’s serious."

"Okay…ask away."

"Where do I stand with you?"

"I’ve been asking myself the same question."

"And?"

Rogue looked away in order to avoid his gaze. "I don’t know. I mean, it’s so soon…after…after Logan."

"Rogue, Logan’s gone."

"I know! It’s just, well, I don’t know if I can open myself up to someone like that again." She looked up and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "I’m still hurtin’, Bobby."

"But I’m not going to hurt you the way he did. Rogue, I’ve loved you for five years and not once have those feelings wavered," Bobby said. "What do I have to do to prove my loyalty to you."

"Please, Bobby, I’m trying…I just don’t know yet, okay?"

Bobby gave her the best smile he could muster. "I’ll give you as much time as you need, Rogue. No pressure."

"I’ll try not to make you wait too long."


Rogue and Bobby parked the car in the mansion’s parking lot and then walked together towards the door in the garage. "Still don’t have a permit to park your car inside, huh?" Rogue said teasingly.

"Nah, I guess the Professor just doesn’t think my car is as valuable as his Rolls-Royce."

"Imagine that." Rogue stopped short. "What’s that sound?"

Bobby listened for a moment, then said. "I think someone left the radio on down here."

"Probably Scott," Rogue said. "He comes down here to work on his motorcycle, and then Jean does that mind-thingy to call him inside and he forgets to turn it off."

"And he’s supposed to be the together one of the team."

"Hey, compared to the rest of us…"

"Very true." Bobby gave her a charming grin. "Well, since we have the music anyway, care to dance?"

"I don’t know…I’m not much of a dancer."

"Oh, come on. I’ve seen you dance plenty of times. Remember the time that Jubilee dared you to dance on the table in the cafeteria?"

Rogue turned bright red. "I can’t believe you remember that!"

"Rogue, I believe that image is forever burned into my mind. Along with the look on Scott’s face when he walked in and your sweater hit him in the face."

"I had a shirt on under it!"

"I know that. All though I don’t think he realizes that at first…"

Rogue shook her head. "Can’t I just put that behind me?"

"Not with the Polaroids still floating out there somewhere. Now come on, dance with me. A song’s just starting."

"It’s slow."

"Even better." Bobby pulled Rogue to him and she quickly gave in.

Girl, I know you're hurting
Right now you feel like
You could never love again
Now all I ask is for a chance
To prove that I love you

Rogue rested her head on Bobby’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around his waist. He put one hand on the small of her back and the other in her hair. She sighed against him, so grateful to feel loved, wanted.

From the first day that I saw your smiling face
Honey, I knew that we would be together forever
Ooh and I asked you out, you said no
But I found out
Darling, that you'd been hurt
You felt that you'd never love again
I deserve a try, honey, just once
Give me a chance and I'll prove this all wrong
You walked in you were so quick to judge
But honey, he's nothing like me

Bobby kissed the top of Rogue’s hair and pulled her closer to him. He could feel her tears soaking through his shirt and Bobby wanted nothing more than to erase all the pain Logan had caused her. He couldn’t fathom how any man could receive Rogue’s unconditional love and then just throw it away. He swore that if he ever truly made her his, he’d never hurt her the way Logan had. Never.

I'll never break your heart
I'll never make you cry
I'd rather die, then live without you
I'll give you all of me
Honey that's no lie
I'll never break your heart
I'll never make you cry
I'd rather die, then live without you
I'll give you all of me
Honey that's no lie

Rogue was surprised at how warm she felt next to Bobby. His skin had always been cold to the touch in the past, but tonight, it wasn’t. She remembered it hadn’t been the night before either, in her classroom. But Rogue didn’t want to think about that. She didn’t want to think about anything. All she wanted to do was feel.

As time goes by you will get to know me
A little more better
Girl that's the way love goes baby, baby
I know you are afraid to let
Your feelings show (feelings show)
And I understand
But girl it's time to let go
Girl it's time to let go(girl it's time to let go)

Bobby looked down to see Rogue staring up at him, tears in her eyes. He kissed them away, feeling her shiver in his arms. "I love you," he said. Rogue nodded, unable to speak. Bobby leaned down and captured her lips in a kiss.

I'll never break your heart
No way (no way)no how
I'll make you cry
Oh, need me
Honey no way
I'll do you right(no how)
I say no how

As she kissed Bobby, Rogue pushed away all her lingering doubts. "To Hell with Logan," she thought. "I can and will live my life without him and be perfectly happy." She put her all into the embrace, meeting Bobby passion for passion.

I would never do that to you girl
Ooh, just give me a chance
To prove you how much I love you
I would give you the world
If you're my girl...

As the song ended, Bobby and Rogue moved their kiss from the garage into the mansion. It was late enough that most of the morning people were already in bed, but still early enough that most of the night owls were still out, but neither Rogue nor Bobby cared if they ran into anyone or not. They staggered up the stairs—never once taking their hands off each other—and when they reached Rogue’s room, they toppled in, shutting the door behind them.

End Part Three

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