Disclaimer #3: As we all know, 'tasteful porn' is quite the quintessential oxymoron. I did my best...however, on a Cheese Scale of 1 - 10, I'm gonna go ahead and give this one about a 45. This is flat-out BadFic. Enjoy!

Dinner was quiet. Captain Archer could tell something had transpired between his chief engineer and the resident Vulcan since he last saw them. They had been silently exchanging glances across the table all through dinner. Trip couldn't wipe that smile off his face. Archer felt that uncomfortable stab of jealousy again. He failed several times at bringing some levity to the room. These two were just too far into themselves. Archer finally decided to just broach the subject.

"So," he started, "what did you guys do after you left my ready room?"

T'Pol glanced up at the captain, a somewhat smug look on her face. Trip looked from her to Archer. His smile broadened. "We took a bath," he said candidly. He winked at Archer.

Archer raised his eyebrows. "Really?" he replied. That image seemed odd to him. He had never known Trip to be a bath person. 'Waste o'time, Jon,' he'd said once. Said he didn't have time for a slow pruning. "I thought you didn't like taking baths, Trip," Archer said suspiciously.

"Cap'n," Trip began, and then looked at T'Pol. He tossed Archer a look that said 'hello? Do you see what I see?' The engineer chuckled at Archer's nod. "I received an offer I couldn't refuse."

"What kind of incentives were there?" the captain asked. Despite feeling left out, he was intrigued.

"Bein' nekkid in the tub with a beautiful woman is a pretty good start, sir," Trip replied. "Havin' her arms around me is even better."

The steward came in at that moment to clear the dinner dishes away and to serve coffee. "Will that be all, sir?" the steward asked.

Archer nodded. "Yes, thank you. And could you please not disturb this room? We're having a mandatory conference that requires the strictest privacy." Archer smiled at him politely.

The steward nodded and took his leave.

"Mandatory conference, sir?" T'Pol asked, raising an eyebrow.

Archer leaned back in his chair, a grin spreading across his face. "I think that as Captain of this vessel, I should be privy to what my crew is doing, especially my senior officers. Consider this conference a detailed briefing."

Archer gazed across the table at T'Pol. She looked over at Trip, who was biting his bottom lip. Trip glanced back to the captain and arched his brows.

"So," Trip started, "what's on the agenda, Cap'n?"

"I think," Archer replied, elbows now resting on the table, "I will require further review of your actions leading up to that scene in my ready room this afternoon."

"I believe it is my duty to pick it up from here," said T'Pol quietly. "It was my curiosity that is to blame for what happened in the shuttle."

Archer leaned forward farther. "What happened in the shuttle? I thought you guys just took a bath."

"Commander Tucker taught me some things about human sexuality," she said simply. Trip looked down and smiled.

"What kind of things, T'Pol?" Archer asked. "Maybe you should recreate the scene."

"As you wish, Captain," she replied and rose from her seat. She crept around the table and kneeled down in front of Trip. T'Pol pushed his knees apart and made herself comfortable between them. She placed her hands on his thighs and slowly ran them up his legs. Her eyes locked with his. Trip smiled at her, the now familiar fire igniting in his eyes.

Archer watched intently as T'Pol's hands moved up Trip's stomach and over his chest and back down again. She yanked the t-shirt he was wearing out of his non-uniform cotton pants and lifted it over his head. In a very un- Vulcan manner she threw it to the floor in a heap. She leaned forward and kissed him deeply. Archer could physically feel the temperature in the room begin to rise, along with certain other things. Most noticeably was the bulge in Trip's pants, the one in his own a close second.

T'Pol broke the kiss and gently pushed Trip back in his chair. Trip closed his eyes as she licked a wet trail down his sculpted chest towards her goal. Her hands deftly undid the buttons on his fly. T'Pol tugged his pants down far enough to free his stiffening cock. She tossed a cautious look to Archer before gripping Trip softly but firmly. Trip sighed and sank farther back in his chair.

Archer's right hand disappeared under the table. His own pants were getting quite tight. He unzipped and pulled out his penis. His chin rested in his left hand, while the other tried not to touch himself. Archer wanted this to last a while. At this rate, he wouldn't make it three minutes.

T'Pol slowly slid her hand up the shaft of Trip's cock, her thumb grazing the tip, spreading the moisture there back down his shaft. Up and down she stroked. She bent closer and licked the tip of his cock. Trip's hips shot out of the chair as his eyes flew open.

"T'Pol!" he gasped. "I never showed you that!"

"I know," she agreed, looking up at him. A smile tugged at her mouth as she wrapped her full lips around him.

"Aahh, God," Trip sighed. His fingers combed through her hair as her tongue laved at him. He watched her cheeks hollow as she sucked him.

Archer continued to watch, growing more antsy. He wanted in on this action. Watching as those pouty Vulcan lips ravished Trip's impressive sized cock was about all he could handle right now. Archer cleared his throat.

T'Pol continued sucking on Trip like a human Popsicle. Trip was humming with delight. Neither one even noticed the captain was still in the room. Archer coughed loudly.

Trip's penis popped out of T'Pol's mouth as she turned to look at Archer.

"S'matter, Cap'n...feelin' left out?" Trip asked, regarding him with one eye and a huge grin.

"As a matter of fact, yes," Archer admitted, nodding his head. He rose from his chair, his erection bumping the table.

"Well my, my, my!" exclaimed Trip. His eyes traveled down to Archer's crotch, licking his lips suggestively.

"Perhaps I ought to learn more about this," T'Pol suggested. "If I were to watch you two pleasure each other, I could apply this knowledge later." She stood up and sauntered across the room. She took a seat at the other end of the table and waited.

"Guess it's up to us then," Archer replied and strode over to Trip's chair. He pulled his shirt over his head and began to work the button on his pants. Trip's hand covered his and gently pushed it away.

"Lemme do that," Trip said softly. He gazed up to Archer's eyes, then back down to the large appendage in his face. He had his captain's pants down to his ankles in no time. Archer braced his right hand on Trip's shoulder as the younger man began to tease his cock with his tongue. Trip grasped Archer lightly and began to stroke, sucking at the head of his penis.

Archer bent down enough to reach his engineer's dick. He tried to return the favor, but found that Trip was quite distracting. Archer's strokes were sloppy at best. His eyes rolled back in his head with pleasure.

"Don't worry 'bout me, Cap'n," Trip said around his mouthful of Archer. "I'm good to go for a while, thanks to that Vulcan over there." He closed his eyes and nodded slightly to T'Pol. Archer glanced over to her and then did a double take. He took a step back from Trip. He squeezed Trip's shoulder slightly, causing Trip to look as well.

T'Pol had shed her clothing and was sitting in the chair naked. She had her right leg swung over the arm of the chair, her back arched forcing her breasts to jut out. T'Pol's right hand idly pinched at her erect nipples while her left hand gently circled that sweet spot between her legs.

"Don't stop on my account," she breathed.

"On the contrary, Sub-Commander," Trip replied, standing. He quickly took off his own pants and meandered his way to T'Pol. Archer followed closely behind. "I think I owe you from earlier, don't I?"

Trip kneeled in front of her and pushed her left leg aside. Archer stood to T'Pol's right, nudging his cock into her face. She graciously accepted it as Trip's mouth closed around her fingers, sucking gently. His own fingers found her to be slick. He stroked her lightly, teasing, sucking her fingers. T'Pol pulled her fingers from Trip's mouth and brought them to Archer's cock. She stroked him, sucked him, licked him. Archer's hands found T'Pol's breasts and was kneading them gently.

Trip's tongue replaced his fingers at T'Pol's wet sex. He went right to her center, his tongue circling her clit. T'Pol's hips jolted upward. Trip gently pushed her back and continued lapping at her. His hand found it's way to his own cock, gently stroking himself. Trip could hear both his captain and the science officer moaning. He glanced up and paused what he was doing.

T'Pol seemed to be thoroughly enjoying herself. Her eyes were closed as she sucked and pulled at Archer's penis. She had both hands around him and was using them to great advantage. Trip smiled and returned his attention to what lay spread out in front of him. His tongue made one long swipe around T'Pol's swollen opening and then he sucked her clit between his lips and swirled his tongue around it. Her hips bucked wildly as the orgasm exploded. She cried out something in Vulcan. Trip rode the waves with her, licking her clit. T'Pol was still stroking Archer, but her head was thrown back and her eyes squinted shut in ecstasy.

Trip stood, his knees cracking. Archer was grinning wildly, eyeballing Trip's erection.

"Mind if I have a little taste while she recovers?" Archer asked, pointing to his engineer's cock.

"I'd be honored, Cap'n," Trip replied, leaning back against the table. "That was one hell of an orgasm she just had."

Archer knelt in front of Trip, returning the oral pleasure he'd received earlier. T'Pol opened her eyes to find the two men at it again. She could already feel the desire building once more. She rose from her seat and stood next to the Commander. He wrapped an arm around her as she leaned in and kissed him, wet and deep.

"Ready for more, T'Pol?" Archer asked, standing. Trip moved aside as T'Pol nodded and climbed up on the table. She reclined back and spread her legs wide.

"Who's first?" she asked.

Trip settled himself between her legs. He smiled broadly as he guided himself to her opening. Archer stood nearby, waiting. T'Pol grasped his penis and sucked it into her mouth once again.

Trip slid into her easily. His thrusts were slow at first, gradually picking up speed. Archer reached down and massaged her clit as Trip slid in and out.

"Je-sus," Trip grunted, sweat dripping from his face. T'Pol arched her back and bucked her hips as the chief engineer gave her the second orgasm of the evening. He withdrew just as his own orgasm hit. His release was huge and he bent over the Vulcan to join her sucking Archer off. T'Pol licked and suckled the captain's balls while Trip sucked and stroked his cock.

Within moments Archer himself was having an incredible orgasm as the two continued to work on him. They milked him until the spasms ceased.

"Well," Archer panted, "I'd say this meeting was a success." He sat down heavily in a nearby chair to recover.

Trip, still poised over T'Pol, looked at him curiously. "This gonna be a regular thing, Cap'n?"

Archer's brows shot up. "I haven't thought about it, " he admitted. "Maybe."

T'Pol curled her legs around the Commander and sat up. "I think I learned a lot about humans. Though I'm certain there is plenty more."

Trip gazed at her and kissed her passionately, forgetting momentarily about the captain.

"I'd say this meeting is adjourned," Archer said, smiling.

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