As the plane began its descent, Nathan Bridger sighed and turned his head to look out of the window. The past year had been filled with many changes for him. After his son, Robert had been killed Bridger had left the seaQuest project and the Navy. His death had also forced a wedge between Carol and himself, so much so that 6 months after Bobby's death Carol had filed for a divorce which had become final 4 months before. And to further sever the ties that had once existed between them he had heard that Carol was seeing someone and was apparently very happy.
Nothing had been the same between them and though she'd never come out and said it, Nathan knew that deep down she blamed him for their son's death. Hell, he blamed himself and he knew he always would. And he knew it would be a very long time before he forgave himself for encouraging Robert to follow in his footsteps and join the Navy.
He still loved Carol and suspected she still loved him, but obviously that love had not been strong enough to survive the loss of their child.
After all that had happened, Nathan knew that it was time to make some changes in his life. It was time for him to wipe the slate clean and start afresh, which was why he was flying to Miami to attend a symposium on Oceanography and Marine Biology. The subjects had always interested him and maybe, just maybe, that's where his future lay.
The hotel was already busy when he arrived and after checking in and taking his bags to his suite, Nathan headed back downstairs to grab a quick bite to eat before registering for the symposium.
That done, he headed down the corridor to the room where his meeting was. He wasn't really paying attention to where he was going and before he knew it he had collided with a soft and definitely female form. The folders she had been carrying flew everywhere and it was only his quick reflexes that prevented her from falling to the floor.
"God, I'm sorry." he apologized and found himself looking into the most exquisite sable eyes he'd ever seen. Her features were delicately chiseled and framed with deep russet hair that was pulled back into a french roll.
"It's all right." the woman replied and Nathan was struck by the richness of her voice. Her British accent was warm and sensual and invoked visions of hot whiskey and warm fires. He released his hold on her arms and she flashed him a quick smile as she knelt and began to gather up her files. He bent down to help her and when they were all gathered up he took her arm to help her to her feet.
"Sorry." he apologized again. "I'm not usually such a klutz."
The woman laughed and it was a delightful sound. "I really must go. If you'll excuse me?' she stated with a smile.
"Of course. Sorry again." he said . The woman nodded and Nathan watched her as she moved down the corridor his eyes drawn to the sensuous sway of her hips beneath the short skirt of her suit. Once she had disappeared, he released a low appreciative whistle and then continued on his way.
Though some of the lectures he had attended were terribly boring, Nathan found he very much enjoyed the ones that dealt with dolphins and decided that was where he wanted to focus his interest.
With the symposium finished for the day, he headed across the lobby and entered the bar.
The place was noisy and busy when Nathan stepped inside and he made a quick survey before moving and sliding into a bar stool.
"What'll it be?" the bartender asked
"Just whatever you have on tap will be fine." Nathan said.
Several minutes later the bartender set the mug down in front of him and Nathan muttered a quiet thank you.
Nathan sat quietly nursing his beer and looked up when he heard an unmistakable voice beside him.
"Well, fancy meeting you here. May I?" the woman he had met earlier asked and indicated the seat beside him.
"Of course, " Nathan smiled. "Can I buy you a drink?"
"Thank you. A white wine will be fine." she told him and he nodded.
"Bartender, a white wine for the lady please?" he said then turned back to her. "I don't believe I caught your name earlier?"
"It's Kristin, Kristin Westphalen. I'm here as a guest lecturer from Cambridge University"
"I'm Nathan Bridger."
"Nice to meet you, Nathan" Kristin smiled and held up her wine glass. Nathan couldn't stop the purely sensual shiver that skipped up his spine at the way she spoke his name.
"You too." he replied and touched her glass with the edge of his mug.
"What exactly are you here to lecture about?" he questioned.
"Uhm... marine biology. Actually my speciality is dolphins." she replied as she took a sip of her wine.
"Really. I'm interested in dolphins too."
Nathan was surprised by just *how* comfortable he was with Kristin and how easy she was to talk too. He found himself telling her things he usually kept to himself. And she had a delightful laugh, he thought with a soft smile.
"What's so funny?" she asked with a amused tone to her voice.
"I was just thinking how I like the sound of your laugh."
"Thank you for that." she smiled. "But you do make me laugh and nobody's been able to really do that for a while now. So thank *you*."
Nathan flashed her a smile and then hearing the start of another song he decided to go for broke. "Would you like to dance?"
"Love to." she smiled and set down her glass. He took her hand and helped her down from the bar stool leading her to the dance floor. They found a spot amidst the other couples and Nathan pulled her close. She pressed herself against him and rested her head next to his as the soft seductive notes of a love song began.
I can feel the magic floatin' in the air Being with you gets me that way
I watch the sunlight dance across your face and I, oh I've
Never been this swept away
All my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze
When I'm lying wrapped up in your arms
The whole world just fades away, the only thing I hear
Is the beating of your heart
The music wove its seductive web around them and shut out all else but the feel of each other. Kristin pulled her head back and met Nathan's eyes. They were a deep dark, blue and she felt that she could easily lose herself in the soulful depths. They held each other's gaze, never taking their eyes from each other, their bodies moving together as the music wrapped them in its bewitching spell.
And I can feel you breathe, it's washing over me
Suddenly I'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove, baby all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch, the slow and steady rush
And baby, isn't that the way that love's supposed to be
I can feel you breathe
Just breathe
In a way I know my heart is waking up
As all the walls come tumblin' down
Closer than I've ever felt before and I know and you now
There's no need for words right now
(Repeat chorus)
I can feel the magic floatin' in the air
Being with you gets me that way
As the chorus faded out Nathan slid his hand up to gently caress Kristin's cheek. She leaned into his caress and met his gaze, her eyes holding a message he couldn't and didn't want to resist so he gently drew her close, his lips brushing hers lightly at first then more deeply. Her lips parted to the gentle brush of his tongue and she drew it inside to entwine with her own.
As the song ended and the next began their kiss continued growing increasingly more passionate and it was only when the need to breathe superseded all else that they broke apart.
"God." she gasped in a soft breathy whisper.
"My sentiment's exactly." he murmured as he brushed his lips over the expanse of her forehead.
"You know I don't usually do this..." Kristin began as she looked into his eyes
"You mean, pick up strange men." Nathan added with a playful grin.
"Yes." she smiled "I don't know what it is, I just feel that I will always be safe with you." she added softly.
"You will." he replied in an equally soft tone.
"All right..." she paused and looked deep into his eyes. Kristin took a deep breath and boldly met his gaze. "I'd like to spend the night with you, Nathan."
Nathan hid his surprise and smiled softly. "I'd like that."
"I just need to use the ladies room first. I'll meet you at the elevator." She said softly.
"Okay." He nodded and watched as she moved across the bar to the washrooms.
Nathan took a deep breath and stepped out into the lobby. Crossing over he entered the gift shop.
He moved down the aisles to the small health and beauty aids section , feeling as nervous as a teenager about to get laid for the first time. He shook his head and quickly selected a box of condoms before heading to the front counter
Kristin was waiting by the elevators and flashed him a smile as he approached. He stopped by her side and slipped his arm around her waist. He looked down into her upturned face, staring intently into her eyes.
"Are we doing the right thing?" he questioned in a whisper so soft that it was almost inaudible.
"I'm not sure. I only know how I feel. It feels right and I've never felt safer with anyone else in my life." she admitted softly.
He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to the tip of her nose. "How can I argue with that." he murmured softly. "Your room or mine?"
"Whichever is closer?" she stated. "I'm on twelve."
When the elevator car arrived, Nathan guided Kristin inside and greeted the operator with a nod. "Ten, please." he stated and the young man nodded.
As the car began its ascent, Nathan and Kristin moved to the back.. She moved closer to his side and when her hand moved from his waist to slide over the taut muscles of his rear, Nathan turned his head to meet her gaze. The sable depths of her eyes were full of mischief and were dark with desire.
They held each other's gaze, eyes communicating, sharing a silent message. Moments later the elevator operator's voice cut into their private world. "Ten, Sir."
Nathan pulled his gaze away from Kristin's and gave the operator a nod. "Thank you." he said as he gently guided her from the elevator.
The operator watched them leave and move down the hall. He released a low whistle as the doors closed.
Nathan slipped his keycard into the lock and opened the door. He let Kristin step in, then followed her and as the door closed he took her hand in his. Squeezing it gently, he led her through the dark room to the bed. He stopped at the edge and turned to face her. Kristin smiled and took a step, then another, closing the distance between them. Nathan reached out and grasped her elbows gently, pulling her into his arms. His eyes roamed over her delicate features, then his hand rose to cup the back of her head and draw her lips to his. Their mouths crushed together in a feral kiss, tongues dueling hungrily, battling for dominance.
As hands and lips caressed, clothes fell silently to the floor and Nathan's lips brushed softly over every inch of bare flesh exposed. Pulling back, he looked into her passion dark eyes and held her gaze as his hands tangled in her hair and pulled the pins one by one dropping them to the carpet. Her hair tumbled over his fingers, a cascading waterfall of silk, and he tightened his hold as he pulled her down onto the bed with him. As his kiss deepened, he rolled until she was stretched out over him and his hands caressed up over the smooth curve of her back. When he met the resistance of her bra, deft fingers unclasped the hook and slipped the straps from her shoulders. As the bra was pulled from her, Nathan rolled again, this time until she was pinned beneath him. His lips left hers to trail a fiery path down her throat, his tongue darting out to trace the bony ridge of her collarbone before latching greedily onto her breast ,licking and sucking the nipple while his hand caressed the other , teasing the nipple until it was hard and erect. She moaned and laced her fingers through his hair , pulling him closer.
Kristin gave a soft mew of protest when his lips moved away but it turned quickly to a moan of pleasure as his tongue trailed down her body, licking the indentation of her navel before moving lower.
At Kristin's aroused gasp Nathan lifted his head and smiled as he began to trail butterfly light kisses back up her body until he reached her ear. His tongue flicked out to trace the shell of her ear and she shivered.
She rolled onto her side, taking him with her and her hand slipped between the close press of their bodies to slide down over the taut muscles of his stomach before slipping between the waistband of his briefs. She released a purely sensual growl when she found the thick head of his erection already slick with arousal. Nathan moaned as her thumb brushed over the sensitive head, collecting a droplet of moisture and smoothing it down the length of his hardness, caressing him slowly. He closed his eyes and released a moan as she continued to pleasure him. After a few moments he stilled her hand and yanked off his briefs, tossing them to the floor beside the bed. Rolling over, he fumbled for his jacket and the package in one of the pockets.
He pulled the box from the paper bag and tore it open. Ripping off a foil wrapped packet , he set the box on the night stand then rolled back to Kristin. She took the condom from him and after opening the packet, slid it down his erection.
Nathan rolled until she was beneath him and he looked down into her passion-glazed sable eyes. Their gazes held as she wrapped her legs around his hips. "Now.." she breathed softly.
His mouth swooped down on hers as he thrust into her and she gasped as he stretched and filled her. "Are you all right?" Nathan asked softly as he stilled to give her time to adjust to him. Kristin smiled at his concern and nodded.
"Yes" she breathed and when her body had adjusted to his size she threaded her fingers through his hair and pulled his lips back to hers. He began to move, thrusting his hips in a slow steady rhythm. Kristin slid her hands down his back, caressing lightly until she cupped the firm muscles of his buttocks and gently aided his thrusts.
Soft gasps and moans of pleasure filled the room as they continued to move together following a rhythm as old as time, as they were pushed closer and closer to the edge. Kristin went over first, a low moan escaping her lips as she came. She held Nathan tightly as he continued to thrust his hips, striving for his own release. Several seconds later he followed her. His back arched and he released a low growl as he came. He collapsed bonelessly onto her and Kristin brushed her lips over his sweat damp forehead. Nathan rolled away momentarily as he removed the condom and tossed it into the wastebasket beside the bed.
He moved back and pulled Kristin close to his side. She settled her head on his chest, her fingers combing tenderly through the light dusting of hair on his chest.
"How long have you been divorced?" she asked him quietly.
"How did you know?" he asked in a surprised tone of voice.
"You have a tan line on your finger where your ring used to be." she explained. "You don't seem like the kind of guy who would cheat on his wife so I just assumed you were divorced."
"My divorce was final 4 months ago."
"What happened? If you don't mind telling me" she asked in a soft whisper.
"Carol, that's my ex-wife, well our son was killed, and she blamed me. Our marriage ended the day Bobby died."
"God, I'm so sorry." Kristin whispered as she lifted her head to look down into his eyes. They were haunted and full of pain. "But why would she blame you?"
"Because it was my fault. I was in the Navy and Bobby wanted to follow in my footsteps. I was proud at first. Proud that he would choose to follow me. Carol hated it from the very first moment he told us. Although she supported me in my career, I know she always hated it. The night Bobby entered his basic training, Carol and I had the mother of all fights. We worked it out, obviously..." He paused a moment and took a deep breath. "Two years later he was killed in action. The boat he was on was so totally destroyed that there wasn't even a body to..." his voice caught as tears formed. "Because of me, my boy is dead." he finished, tears flowing freely.
"Sh." Kristin said softly as she shifted and pressed herself close to him. "You can't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. Your son was an adult. He made his own choices." she soothed as she stretched out over him, pressing a kiss to his lips. She deepened the kiss, offering the comfort of her body. He accepted, losing himself once more in her and the solace she offered.
Nathan awoke and peered through the darkness at the clock on the night stand. The glowing red numbers read 7 am. He smiled softly at the feeling of Kristin's warm body spooned up behind him. She was still sound asleep and her warm breath blew gently over his neck. He shifted so that he could face her and pressed a tender kiss to her temple before slipping from the bed and crossing to the bathroom.
Kristin reached out for Nathan only to find his place beside her empty. She opened her eyes and sat up, smiling when she heard the faint sound of the shower drifting through the closed bathroom door. Climbing from the bed she moved quietly across the room, the noise of the shower concealed her approach as she pushed open the door and stepped into the steam filled room.
Kristin smiled when she saw his silhouette against the frosted glass and closed the door behind her. Moving silently, she crossed to the tub and slid back the doors. She stepped into the tub, pulling the door closed before turning to face Nathan.
He stood with his back to her, under the hot spray of water and was oblivious to her presence. Kristin smiled and moved closer. She wrapped her arms around him and pressed a kiss to the warm wet skin of his shoulder.
"Morning." she drawled softly.
"Good morning." Nathan chuckled as he turned in her arms and pulled her tight against him. Kristin smiled as her hands slid down the wet slickness of his back to cup the firm muscles of his butt as she pressed her lips to his ear. Her tongue darted out to trace his ear and he shuddered. "What time is it?" he asked lamely as she continued her sweet assault on his senses.
"A little after 7." she replied against the skin of his neck. "Mmm, why?" she added as she gently nibbled on the warm flesh beneath her lips.
"Uhm..." he began "don't you have a lecture to prepare for."
"It's not until 9. We still have plenty of time." she purred in his ear.
"Plenty of time for what?" he questioned playfully.
Kristin pulled back so she could meet his gaze and she gave him a playful pinch on the butt. "What do you think?" she added as her hands slid around between the close press of their bodies to caress his erection.
Nathan moaned and closed his eyes, his head falling back as she continued to caress him.
"Kristin," he gasped and stilled her hand. He met her smokey whiskey-hued gaze.
"I want you." she purred with a soft sensuous smile as her free hand rose and she traced the outline of his lips with a long manicured nail.
"You have me." he replied softly and pressed a kiss to the tip of her finger. "Just let me get a condom." he added as he moved away from her.
Kristin reached out to pull him back to her. "But I want you inside me, now." she said as she pressed herself close again, bending her head to brush her tongue over his lips.
"Are you sure?" he asked as he responded by pressing short nipping kisses to her lips.
"Mmm, very sure." she murmured against his lips. "I want to feel you hot and throbbing inside me." she purred and stopped his teasing by catching his lower lip between her teeth then slipped her tongue into his mouth.
Nathan needed no further encouragement, his tongue met hers stroke for stroke as his hands slid down her back. He gently grasped her hips and lifted until she wrapped her legs around his waist. He turned, moving with her until her back was pressed against the tile wall. His lips swallowed her moan as he shifted and thrust into her.
"Mmm, yes." Kristin gasped as he began to move.
Moans and soft gasping cries blended harmoniously with the sound of falling water as they both drew closer to release. Nathan opened his eyes and watched Kristin, smiling at the soft grimace of ecstasy on her face. Placing his lips to her ear he breathed hotly. "Come for me, Kris."
Nathan thrust his hips, pushing himself more deeply into her.
"Oh God..." she moaned.
"That's it..." he growled and thrust deeply once more.
"Nathan!" Kristin cried as she came, her body shuddering with the force of her release.
As the waves of pleasure that swept through her body slowly ebbed, Nathan continued to thrust his hips as he strived to reach his own release. She held him tightly, pressing soft kisses to his neck. Several seconds later she felt his body stiffen and he came with a low moan. Kristin held him as his hot semen filled her, her fingers tenderly brushing through the wet strands of his hair.
They came back down to earth slowly, sharing slow languid kisses as their breathing returned to normal. Nathan pulled away and set her gently on her feet before reaching for the bottle of shower gel. They leisurely washed each other, enjoying the gentle ministrations, taking their time.. Kristin sighed as he massaged the shampoo through her long hair then the conditioner and after rinsing he turned off the water. He pushed back the shower door and stepped out before extending his hand. She took it and he helped her from the tub then took some towels from the rack behind him.
He passed two towels to Kristin and she took them with a smile and a thank you.
After dressing, they went down for breakfast then Nathan sat in on Kristin's lecture and then attended several others that day. She was too busy to join him for lunch but they were able to meet for a quiet dinner after all the lectures were finished for the day.
"You're awfully quiet." Nathan said softly as he looked across the candle lit table at her.
"I guess I'm just a little tired."
"Would you like to call it a night?" he asked solicitously.
"No." Kristin responded softly and slid her hand across the table to grasp his lightly. "No." she added, "What I'd really like is for you to dance with me."
Nathan smiled and got up from the table. He moved around it to stand beside her chair and held his hand out to her. She slipped her hand into the warmth of his and he gave it an affectionate squeeze before pulling her gently from her seat.
With his hand resting warmly at the small of her back, he led her out onto the sparsely populated dance floor pulling her close and she rested her head on his shoulder as they began to move to the slow, sensuous notes of an old love song.
They moved together, caught up in the music and each other staying on the dance floor as the first song ended and another began. As the music started Kristin pulled her head back to meet Nathan's gaze.
I'm here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You'll think of me or speak of me or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well
Never wonder what I feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of our hands
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God's experiment
In which we have no sayIn which we're given paradise
But only for a day
Nathan frowned slightly when he saw the intense sadness enter Kristin's sable eyes and was about to question her when her lips captured his and as her tongue slipped past his lips he gave himself over to the pleasure of her kiss.
Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide
You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
Kristin broke their kiss as the song ended and tenderly held his face in her hands. "Make love to me, Nathan." she whispered softly and saw the answer in his deep blue eyes as he slipped his hand into hers and led her off the dance floor.
"Hey, what is it?" he asked in a soft whisper as he looked down into her teary sable eyes.
Kristin did not answer him right away but reached up to tenderly trace the rugged planes of his face. "Tell me something?"
"Anything."
"Honestly... do you still love your wife?" she asked in a barely audible whisper.
"Yes." he replied softly, not able to lie to her.
"That's what I thought." Kristin said tearfully. "You see, as close as we've been these last two days there's been a part of you, a part in here..." she said as she rested her hand over his heart, feeling it beating strong beneath her fingertips. "A part that I haven't been able to touch."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. Don't ever be sorry for loving your wife. There are far too many men who..well.." she let the sentence hang. "As hard as this if for me, what I'm trying to say is that you owe it to yourself and to her to see if you can't make it work.. If you love her you can repair whatever breach is between you." she finished.
Nathan reached out with a gentle finger to tenderly wipe the tears from her cheeks. "But, as strange as it seems, I love you too."
"I know. And never doubt that I love you and I always will. It's because I love you that I can do this and if it's meant to be. If we're meant to be together we will find each other again. Somehow, somewhere. But our time to be together isn't now." she finished, her voice choking on her tears.
Nathan pulled Kristin tightly to him and rolled until she was beneath him. His fingers tangled in her russet hair and he gently pushed the heavy mane from her face so he could see her clearly. His ocean blue eyes spoke volumes as he lowered his lips to hers.
Their kiss quickly escalated and it deepened as desire was reawakened and wrapped them in sweet arousal.
"Nathan" she breathed as she reached out, pulling him tightly to her. She released a soft sigh as he shifted and thrust slowly into her and Kristin took him fully into her body until they were pressed pelvis to pelvis.
His lips captured hers in a kiss that mimicked the actions of their bodies as he began to move his hips, slowly at first and then faster, increasing his tempo as arousal built. Her hands slid down his back to cup the taut muscles of his buttocks and gently aid his thrusts.
Kristin cried her release into the flesh of his shoulder and her orgasm was the catalyst for his own and a deep moan of pleasure escaped his lips as he came.
Kristin wasn't all that surprised to see tears in his eyes as she pressed a gentle kiss to his lips before rolling and tucking her body tight to his side. Her own tears damped the skin of his chest as she pressed her face to his shoulder. His fingers tenderly combed through the silken strands of her hair and when he fell asleep much later Kristin pressed herself tight to his body and wondered just how she was ever going to let him go.
The pale dawn light filtered through the curtains as Kristin lay awake listening to the sound of Nathan's slow, even breathing next to her. Assured that he was deeply asleep she slipped quietly from his embrace and dressed in the semi darkness of the room.
Once she had pulled on her clothes, she moved into the living room of the suite and turned on the lamp that sat on the desk.. Pulling out some stationary from the drawer she picked up a pen and began to write. When she was finished she slipped quietly back into the bedroom and stood beside the bed. She looked down at Nathan, watching him sleep and wasn't at all surprised to find tears in her eyes as she leaned down and placed the letter on the pillow where she had so recently rested her head.
"Goodbye Nathan." she whispered tearfully as she turned away. Kristin moved to the bedroom door and paused in the doorway, turning back to cast one more glance over his sleeping form then feeling as though her heart was breaking she turned away and slipped silently out of Nathan's life.
Kristin stood on the deck behind her house and looked out at the ocean, watching the setting sun. Exquisite hues of rose, magenta, orange and violet blended together and painted the sky as though it were a canvas. She sighed and brushed a hand down the curve of her abdomen, unconsciously soothing the restless new life within. It had been nearly 6 months since she had walked out of Nathan's life. Half a year since she had sent him back into the arms of his wife and it was times like this when she regretted her decision the most.
She heard the front door to the house, open and close and then. "Mummy?"
"Out here, sweetheart." she answered and turned her head to watch her daughter as she stepped out onto the deck. "Hey" she said and flashed a smile as Cindy moved to her side.
"How was school?" Kristin asked as Cindy pressed a kiss to her cheek.
"Okay, I guess.. Are you okay, Mummy?" Cindy asked quietly, picking up on her mother's sullen mood.
"I'm just a little tired." she told her .
"Can I ask you something?" Cindy asked quietly
"Of course, Darling."
"Are you ever going to tell the baby's father?"
Kristin paused for a moment "No. At least not right now."
"Why not? He has a right to know."
"Yes he does, but it's a very long story." Kristin sighed.
"Please tell me." Cindy asked and Kristin smiled softly at the sincerity in her daughter's eyes.
"All right." she said and led her daughter back inside and over to the sofa. Once they were seated, Kristin began speaking. "Well I told you that he was someone I had met at that Symposium I'd done in Miami."
"Yah.." Cindy said, then frowned. "Mummy, he wasn't married, was he?"
"At the time we were together, no. He was divorced." Kristin told her honestly.
"Okay, but.."
"But..." Kristin paused and then released a sigh "I could see that he still loved his wife very much and I knew that she would, if not physically then emotionally, be between us. I knew that he had to go back and work things out with her because we couldn't be together until he resolved whatever was between them. Do you understand?"
"Yah, I guess I do."
"And that's one of the reasons why I can't tell him about the baby. The last I heard, he and his wife had worked things out and were very happy. And as much as I want to, I won't interfere with that."
"Do you love him?"
"Yes I do, very much and that is the most important reason why I won't interfere with his life."
"I understand Mom, really I do." Cindy smiled and pressed a kiss to her mother's cheek.
"I'm glad." Kristin said quietly.
Three months later on a beautiful sunny morning, Kristin gave birth to her second daughter who she called Grace Emily.
Four years later found Kristin taking a position in the Caribbean. Since Cindy was on holidays from school, she came with Kristin and Grace to help find a house and settle in.
One morning a week after they had arrived, Cindy walked her little sister down the beach while they waited for their mother to finish her morning meetings. Kristin was going to meet them for lunch in the small beach-side café they had gown fond of the last week. Suddenly Grace let go of her big sister's hand and with a stream of giggles took off running.
"Gracie, come back here" Cindy called out, her only reply being more giggles. With a tolerant grin and a sigh, Cindy began to jog after the child.
Gracie ran down the beach, knowing that her big sister was behind her. This was one of her most favorite games. She released another giggle then stopped when she ran into a pair of legs.
The little girl looked up to see a tall man with kind blue eyes.
"Well hello there," he smiled as he knelt down until he was eye level with her. "My name's Nathan and who might you be?" he asked softly.
"Gwacie Emiwe." the little girl beamed proudly.
"And how old are you Gracie?" Nathan flashed her a grin.
"Four." Gracie told him with pride as she held up the fingers.
"Well, that means you are a big girl"
"Gracie.." Cindy called out and released a sigh when she spotted her. "There you are you little minx." she said as she rushed to Gracie's side.
Nathan stood up and held out his hand. "Hi I'm Nathan."
"Cindy, Grace is my sister." Cindy supplied as she took his hand. "Thanks for finding her."
"Well actually she ran into me." he smiled and watched as Cindy picked her sister up in her arms.
Nathan studied the two girls for a moment and felt that there was something familiar about them both but he couldn't quite place it.
"Nathan?" a voice called out and both Cindy and Nathan turned in the direction of the call. Cindy studied the petite blonde woman that moved gradually closer to them.
When she reached his side, Nathan introduced them. "Carol..this is Cindy and Gracie."
"Hello." Carol smiled.
"Well Gracie and I really should be going. Thanks again for finding her." Cindy said politely
"You're welcome, she's a lovely child." Nathan stated and watched the two move away, returning the wave that Gracie threw over her sister's shoulder, before turning to his wife. "What did the doctor say?"
"It's nothing serious." Carol said quietly giving him a reassuring smile.. "He thinks it's just a touch of the flu."
"Good." he replied and slipped an arm around her waist. "How about some lunch?"
Carol nodded and allowed her husband to lead her back down the beach.
Six months later, Carol Bridger died in her husband's arms.
At the same time Kristin was realizing that this posting was probably not the ideal position that she was searching for. She also realized that the last four years she had been running away, keeping herself busy so she wouldn't think about Nathan and how she had let him go. Gracie was a continual reminder of him and Kristin knew that one day she would have to stop running away from her feelings and face the fact that even after all this time she missed him terribly.
Kristin gave her job another six months before realizing that she had been right... this was not what she was looking for. Although Grace loved it here and was thriving she needed to find something better. Perhaps it was time to return home.
Kristin weighed her options in her mind as she walked home and passing a noisy bar she stopped and decided to go in. She was lead over to a table and she ordered a light supper and a glass of wine.
Her food arrived just as the stereo began to play "My Brown Eyed Girl". Kristin paid the song no thought as she began to eat.
Across the bar, out of sight from Kristin's table the song did have an effect on another patron.
Nathan took a sip of his beer and stopped as the words of the song reached his ears. Five years ago the song would have had little meaning to him but now the words evoked images of a woman's face with exquisite whiskey-hued eyes, and a voice that was low and husky. He felt the familiar guilt rise up in him. Grief, over his wife's death had been a familiar companion of late and interspersed with the grief, was guilt. Guilt because he found that less and less he was mourning Carol and more and more another woman's face was appearing in his mind. A woman who, no matter how he had tried to deny, how he had tried not to feel about, had always been in his thoughts and in his heart.
Kristin finished her dinner and was slowly sipping her wine. The music in the background had little effect on her until the song changed. The singer's voice was soft, full of emotion and regret and Kristin found herself listening intently.
Sure I think about you now and then
But it's been a long long time
I've got a good life now I've moved on
So when you cross my mind
I try not to think about
What might have been
'Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use giving in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
We could sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes they might be the best days
We will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past
So try not to think about
What might have been
'Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use giving in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
That same old look in your eyes
It's a beautiful night
I'm so tempted to stay
But too much time has gone by
We should just say goodbye
And turn and walk away
And try not to think about
What might have been
'Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use giving in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
No we'll never know
What might have been
As the final note died out, Kristin wiped the tears from her cheeks. The song had effected her deeply and made her think, made her wonder what would her life be like now if she hadn't been so noble and sent Nathan back to his wife.
Grabbing her purse from the back of her chair, Kristin fished out her wallet and tossed some money on the table before turning and heading to the door without ever noticing that the object of her thoughts was only across the room from her.
Nathan moored his small boat and after tying it up, he climbed out onto the dock and making his way down the wooden planks he stepped down onto the sand. The full moon was shining brightly and illuminated the way as he walked down the beach to his small shack.
He made his way up the small set of stairs and opened the door. Turning on the lights he crossed over to the small bathroom, heading inside. When he emerged several minutes later he was completely nude.
Moving back outside, Nathan proceeded down to the water. The night was extremely warm and the perspiration was already glistening on his toned body by the time he reached the lagoon. Wading into the water he began to swim and was joined minutes later by Darwin his dolphin. They swam together for a good half hour before Nathan left the water. He strode towards the shack and headed inside, returning minutes later with a bottle of whiskey and a glass . He moved down the steps and sat on the bottom one. After pouring a healthy shot of whiskey, Nathan downed it in one gulp then poured another. As he quietly sipped the drink, Nathan found his thoughts wandering to those first few months after he had returned to Carol. A month after they had been remarried he and Carol had moved to the island. It was shortly after that he realized that things just weren't the same. Although he still loved Carol and knew he always would things between them had changed. Their relationship had changed and deep in his heart Nathan knew it was because of the time he had spent with Kristin. Even if he had wanted to, he couldn't forget what it had been like to be with Kristin.
His feelings for Carol never had been as intense, he had never wanted her with such an aching need. Kristin was like a drug in his blood and he was a willing addict. But knowing he had no choice, Nathan had pushed his feelings for Kristin aside, locking them away in his heart and in the process, locking away a part of his soul as well. Naturally he had told Carol that there had been someone while they had been divorced but he had never told her just how deeply Kristin had effected him, how deeply she ran in his soul. If Carol had suspected that he loved Kristin she did not let on. And so he promised himself that he would make Carol happy for whatever time they had together
Even though the thought of leaving had crossed his mind, Nathan remained with her because when she had taken him back he had made a promise to her and honor demanded he keep that promise and so he stayed with her until the end.
Nathan downed another glass of whiskey and was definitely beginning to feel the liquor's effect as he got up and flopped down onto the sand in the pool of light cast by his open door
Folding his arms behind his head Nathan stared up into the starry night sky. As he watched the heavens, he let his thoughts finally leave Carol and settle on Kristin.
He couldn't help but wonder how much different his life would be now if he had decided to stay with Kristin instead of returning to his wife.
Closing his eyes, Nathan tried to bring the image of her face to his mind - the way she had looked that last night. With the memory he felt the familiar stirring of desire curling low in his belly. It had been over a year since he and Carol had made love. And even before she had gotten so sick, the sex between them had been what he could only describe as 'familiar' and 'comfortable.' It lacked the intensity, the fire and passion of his time with Kristin.
His memories were so vivid that he could recall everything about her: the way she looked; the way she smelled; the way her body had felt against his. He could feel every caress of her hands on his skin; hear her voice in his ear and his body immediately reacted, leaving him hard and aching. Bridger released a low groan as he resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn't get an ounce of sleep until he dealt with the arousal that had settled upon him.
It was a rare occurrence when Nathan dealt with his need in any way but a swim in the cool waters of the lagoon, which was usually enough to cool his ardour. But he knew that tonight, a swim would not suffice, and he chalked it up to the fact that he was well on his way to being drunk. So with just a touch of regret, he let his hand slip from behind his head and slide down his chest until he brushed against the heat of his erection.
He was annoyed with himself for getting into this state but if he had to do it then he might as well enjoy it. He allowed images of Kristin to flood his mind, reliving every moment of their lovemaking, and soon any guilt that he felt was washed away as his need escalated until it was almost unbearable. His left hand lay flat on his stomach while his right curled around his hardened flesh. He groaned as a wave of desire flowed through him… In his imagination it was Kristin's hand on him. Kristin, who massaged his aching erection... When he reached the head, his hand slid to the very end to collect the moisture there and smoothed it down to add lubrication.
Nathan slid the fingers of his left hand along his body. They caressed their way around the base of his thick stiffness, taking hold of his scrotum. He tugged firmly, but gently as his right hand continued its rhythmic movements up and down his swollen shaft.
A series of guttural moans escaped his lips as he fought to keep his pace slow and even, prolonging the delicious agony. He tightened his grip a bit when he reached the tip and loosened it as he stroked down to the base, holding on firmly once more, as he made the return trek. As his urgency increased, his hips lifted of their own volition to meet each stroke.
All rational thought was soon obliterated by the ache in his groin - pure instinct taking over. His hand was moving faster now, teasing and pulling at his heavy sacs then massaging gently. The sensation causing him to jerk and stiffen, thrusting into the other palm, which spun small tight circles on his now, well-lubricated head - he could feel the sweet tension building in his back and lower abdomen. His breathing, becoming more and more laboured.
He let out an impassioned groan and quickened his pace until it was almost frenetic, opening his legs wide as he raised his back off the sand, nearly bent at a ninety-degree angle. God he was so close… so close. He extended his legs and closed them as best he could while still maintaining his actions with his left hand.
The image of Kristin's face appearing in his mind was enough to send him over the edge. With a loud cry he came hard, a thick stream of semen shooting in a long spurt that soaked his chest and belly, dripping down his hand and onto the warm sand. He lay still as the last shudders of pleasure coursed through his body and when they had ebbed he closed his eyes tightly and Kristin's name escaped his lips in an agonised whisper. He stood slowly and moved back down into the water, taking another quick swim to wash away the stickiness and sand. Then he returned inside, switching off the light as he headed for bed. He stretched out on top of the sheets and stared at the ceiling, knowing that sleep would be a very long time in coming.
Kristin lifted her head and sighed when the vidphone chimed for attention. She got up from her desk, casting a quick glance out the window to see that Gracie was still playing on the deck before crossing to the vidphone and activating it.
When the screen came to life she saw a man she did not recognize. "Can I help you?"
"I'm looking for Doctor Kristin Westphalen?" the man said with a polite smile
"I'm Doctor Westphalen. What can I do for you?"
"Doctor, I'm Admiral William Noyce. I work for the UEO"
"I've heard of it. What can I do for you, Admiral?"
"Well quite frankly Doctor, we'd like you to come and work for us."
"Really?" Kristin replied, not yet giving anything away, but sensing deep down that this could be exactly what she was looking for.
"Would it be possible for us to meet?" Noyce asked.
"Yes I supposed I could. When and where?" Kristin questioned.
"The UEO headquarters in Hawaii. Say at 9 am in two days."
"I'll be there." She replied and flashed the man a smile. Noyce nodded and cut the link and when he did Kristin let out a little uncharacteristic whoop of joy.
Gracie quickly appeared in the doorway. "Mommy, what's the matter?" she asked curiously.
"Nothing sweetie." Kristin smiled and crossed the room to pulled her daughter into a quick hug. "Mummy's just happy, that's all." she finished as she pressed a kiss to the top of her daughter's soft russet head.
"Why Mummy?" Gracie asked and Kristin felt her heart clench at the earnestness in the girl's blue eyes, eyes that were identical to her father's.
"Because I love you and its a beautiful day." Kristin stated cheerfully and gave Gracie another kiss. "Now why don't you go and play and let Mummy finish her work and then I'll take you out for lunch." she smiled
"Pizza?" Gracie asked hopefully.
"Pizza it is. " Kristin smiled. "Now scoot."
Two days later, Kristin sat in front of Admiral Noyce's office waiting to see him. She nervously smoothed out a wrinkle in the short ivory skirt of her suit then looked up when she heard the door open. She stood when she saw the Admiral in the doorway.
"Dr. Westphalen." Noyce smiled as she moved towards him. "I'm glad you could make it. How was your trip?" he added pleasantly and held out his hand.
"Just fine thank you." Kristin replied and took his hand.
"Good. Please come in and have a seat." Noyce stepped aside, allowing her to precede him into the room.
When Kristin was seated in the chair in front of his desk, Noyce sat and opened a folder, quickly perusing the contents.
"I've been reviewing your work, and your credentials are excellent. Exactly what we are looking for."
"Thank you." Kristin smiled then added. "But if you don't mind me asking, isn't the UEO staffed mostly by the military? I'm a civilian and quite frankly am a little leery of getting involved with any military dealings."
"I understand and , yes the UEO is a military instillation, but that is soon to change. NORPAC has turned over the seaQuest to us. She is going through a total refit to accommodate a large science contingent. She is to be used for scientific research and exploration and will only be used as a military vessel when absolutely necessary. Along with the military crew we want to assign a *civilian* science crew."
"I see." Kristin nodded. "And what exactly would you like me to do?"
"We'd like you to sign onboard as head of Sciences and Medical. As such you would be given complete control in choosing the staff under you. You would, of course, have to work closely with the military crew and be a part of the senior staff." Noyce told her
"Well I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested. It's a great opportunity..."
"But?"
"But, Admiral. I have 5 year old daughter and will not leave her while I go gallivanting about on a submarine. So I'm afraid I can't take the position unless some accommodations are made for my child. I'm sorry."
Noyce paused a moment. "It is unusual, but we already have a 15 year old onboard as the head computer analyst so... let me make a call and see what I can do. Just give me a minute" he said then moved to a vid screen in an adjacent room.
After a moment he returned. "Well Doctor, it seems that my superiors want you and have agreed with your terms. We'll give you whatever you need." he smiled.
"Thank you." Kristin returned his smile. "Then I'm pleased to accept the position."
"Excellent." Noyce grinned. "Now the refit should be done in about two weeks. Is that enough time for you to relocate and choose your staff?"
"I'm sure it will be fine."
"Good. Once you have chosen your staff the crew should be pretty much complete except, of course, for her Captain. And getting him to take the job is going to depend on how well I can tap dance." Noyce admitted with a wry smile
"Oh, may I ask who you have in mind?"
"Nathan Bridger. He was the original designer of the seaQuest but has become pretty much of a hermit since before his wife passed away."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that." Kristin murmured, unable to stop the seed of hope from flourishing. "When did she die?"
"Just over 6 months ago. I'm just hoping the lure of commanding a ship he planned and poured part of his heart and soul into will be enough to get him back."
"I hope so too, and look forward to meeting him." Kristin stated softly then rose from her chair. "Well, thank you Admiral Noyce."
"You're welcome Doctor. And welcome aboard." Noyce said pleasantly.
Kristin nodded then turned and slipped from the room.
Two weeks later, Kristin released a sigh of satisfaction as she made one final trek through the Medical Bay and Science labs seeing that everything was in order. The ship was staffed with a skeleton crew and tomorrow the rest of the crew would be arriving then the seaQuest would be heading out to sea. Kristin had already met the ship's Chief Engineer Katie Hitchcock and they had already become fast friends. Commander Ford on the other hand was another story altogether. Kristin released a soft sigh of frustration, bound and determined to stand her ground and not back down to him. Kristin quickly shook the feeling off and headed down the corridors to the staff quarters
She and Gracie had already moved into their stateroom and as she headed back there, Kristin couldn't help but silently admire the ship that was so much apart of the man she still loved. Even though he wasn't here, and may never be Kristin could somehow sense him and felt strangely comforted. She still held onto the hope that Nathan would accept Admiral Noyce's offer and return to the seaQuest as her Captain. With a smile on her face Kristin stopped at the door to her cabin and pushed it open.
Stepping inside Kristin noticed Gracie's nanny sitting at the desk. The young woman also did double duty as Gracie's teacher and Kristin saw that she was going over her lesson plan for the next day.
"How was she?" Kristin asked with a smile and the woman looked up.
"Just fine. I've already put her to bed."
"Thanks Mel."
"No problem Kristin." the young woman smiled as she gathered up her things. "What time do you need me tomorrow?"
"Well, I'm on duty at 9 and Gracie and I will be having breakfast in the Mess so why don't you meet us there at say 8:45."
"Will do. Good night." Melanie smiled as she crossed to the hatch.
"Good night." Kristin replied then when the hatch had closed, crossed the stateroom to the door at the foot of her bunk. She pushed it open and stepped into her daughter's tiny bedroom.
Kristin quietly approached the bunk and smiled softly as she looked down at her sleeping child. Sitting on the edge Kristin leaned forward to brush back her hair and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. "Sweet dreams angel." she murmured softly. Then pulled the covers more tightly around Gracie before getting up and slipping quietly from the room closing the door behind her.
Nathan was still mad at Bill for the way he had shanghaied him, but decided that he might as well put the time to good use and really take a look at this ship that was the realization of his vision. And so he moved through the ship looking it over finally ending up in one of the hydroponics rooms. It was here where Ford found him sometime later and delivered a message from Noyce.
"Commander Ford!"
Nathan stopped, he'd recognize that voice anywhere. He turned around and watched as Ford turned to face his adversary. Kristin stormed up stopping when she was only inches from him. Nathan's eyes drank in the sight of her, watching as she turned her fiery temper on the ship's XO.
God, she looked so beautiful Nathan thought as he watched her not quite able to believe the she was actually standing before him after so long.
"Let's get something clear, shall we. My people will not be treated like so much cargo. We are scientists. We are not mindless military drones!" Kristin fumed as she glared up at Ford.
"Your point, Doctor?" Ford said tightly.
"Your people have occupied areas clearly designated as science research labs. I want them removed *immediately*."
"May I remind you that you are aboard a military vessel." Ford said hotly
"This is a research and exploration vessel. Besides we outnumber you 124 to 88."
"That sounds like a threat Doctor."
"At least you have a grasp of the obvious."
"Now understand this, Doctor."
"Don't you point your finger at me." Kristin fumed and then her ears registered the sound of laughter.
Nathan watched as Kristin immediately turned a scathing gaze in his direction. A look that quickly melted from her face when she saw him.
"Nathan, my God is it really you?" she said in a soft shocked whisper.
They were in each other's arms seconds later. Nathan pulled her tight to him and sighed. "I've missed you." he murmured into her hair.
"I've missed you too." Kristin whispered as she raised a hand to cup the back of his head.
"God, you feel good." Nathan replied as he pulled her tighter to him.
Ford watched the exchange with growing interest. After a moment the couple pulled apart.
"What are you doing here?" Nathan asked with a soft smile as he reached out to run the back of his hand down her cheek.
"I'm the Head of Sciences and Medical. " Kristin told him "And you?"
"I was shanghaied by Admiral Noyce."
At her puzzled frown Nathan chuckled lightly. "It's a long story."
Kristin smiled. "Well unfortunately right now I'm late for a staff meeting. But I should be free in an hour. We could meet for coffee."
"I'd like that." Nathan replied with a smile.
"Good." she said then leaned forward to press a kiss to his lips. Both immediately felt the reawakened spark of desire and only the knowledge that Ford was standing behind them prevented them from letting the kiss deepen. Kristin pulled back and stepped out of his embrace. "See you later." she said softly.
"Count on it." Nathan replied and watched as she turned and moved back down the hall. As she passed Ford, she paused and glared up at him.
"We're not finished with this yet Commander. Not by a long shot" she finished and moved away.
Nathan grinned and pointed to Kristin's retreating back. "She seems very committed." he quipped.
"She ought to be committed." Ford muttered and strode away.
Nathan chuckled, then continued on his way with a spring in his step and whistling a happy tune. Things were definitely looking up.
Nathan was waiting in the Mess for about twenty minutes, sipping his coffee watching the interaction of the crew members. A few minutes later he smiled when Kristin stepped into the room. She stopped in the doorway, searching the room and smiled and waved when she spotted him. He watched as she crossed over to pour herself a cup of coffee then quickly moved across the room and slipped into the seat beside him.
"Hi." he smiled as he reached out rested his hand on top of hers.
"Hi yourself." Kristin smiled. "Suddenly I don't know what to say." she said softly.
"Me either." he replied then met her gaze, staring intently into her eyes. "I never expected to find you here." he said softly, squeezing her hand.
"Now that you know, are you going to stay?"
"I'd like to.." Nathan began.
"But?"
"But when Robert was killed I swore to myself that I would have nothing to do with the military again." he explained softly.
"I see. Well maybe I can give you a reason to change your mind."
Nathan smiled. "Having you here is helping that." he told her and pulled her hand to his lips brushing a kiss across the back.
"Yes, but maybe I can give you one more." Kristin said softly and squeezed his hand.
"Which is?" he asked with a slightly puzzled frown.
"Follow me." she stated and gently tugged on his hand.
Nathan got up and let her lead him from the Mess. They moved down the halls to the Medical section of the boat and Kristin lead him over to a door just down the hall from the entrance to Med Bay. She pushed the door open and they stepped into the small room.
The tiny room, was most definitely a small but well equipped classroom.
Nathan stared at the lone occupants with shock and hope on his face.
"Grace, pay attention please." the teacher stated firmly . "Four plus four."
"Eight." the little girl replied.
"Very good." Mel praised then looked up to see Kristin and Nathan in the doorway.
As Mel looked up, Grace turned her head and saw her mother.
"Mummy." she grinned and raced from her desk to her mother. Kristin picked Gracie up and pulled her into a hug.
"Hi baby." she murmured and pressed a kiss to the girl's russet head.
Nathan's shock gave way to hope as he watched the little girl and realized that she was the same child he had met on the beach.
"Nathan. This is Grace. She's our daughter." Kristin said softly as she turned her eyes to him, trying to gauge his reaction.
"Hi Grace." Nathan smiled.
"Hello." the little girl replied studying him intently.
After a moment, Kristin knelt and set Gracie back on her feet. "Time for you to get back to your lessons."
"Aw, Mummy.." Gracie protested.
"Don't aw mummy me, Grace Emily." Kristin said firmly but not angrily. "You have to finish your lessons and mummy has to get back to work." Kristin told her then let a smile creep over her face. "I'll see you for dinner."
"Okay." Gracie smiled then gave her mother a quick hug.
"Scoot." she said with a smile and watched as Gracie headed back to her desk.
Nathan and Kristin stepped silently outside and she turned to face him.
"Please don't be angry with me.." she began before he could speak. "You don't know how many times over the last 5 years that I wanted to call and tell you about Grace but just after I found out I was pregnant I heard that you had remarried. I didn't think it was fair to interfere with that especially if you were happy. I'm sorry."
"Kris.." Nathan said quietly.
"Yes." she replied and looked up at him. He took a step toward her then another. He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her tight to him. His hands slid up her back to cup her face tenderly between his palms. "I'm not angry." he began and saw the smile in her eyes "Far from it." Nathan added before bending his elbows and drawing her mouth to his.
Neither was prepared for the conflagration of emotions that one simple kiss released. Everything that both had been holding back flared to life bathing them in the heat of desire.
Kristin released a soft moan and parted her lips as Nathan's tongue pressed for entry.
Desire ran like quicksilver through her veins and as the kiss deepened she leaned into Nathan's embrace, pressing herself closer to him.
Nathan slowly broke their kiss resting his forehead against Kristin's for a moment to try and catch his breath. Pulling back, he met her smokey sable gaze flashing her a soft smile. "What do you say we take this to someplace a little more private." he said in a soft whisper.
"Mmm, I'd love to." she replied and pressed a kiss to the tip of his nose "But I do have to get back to work. What do you say we pick this up later tonight. You, Gracie and I can have dinner together then after she's asleep....." she let the sentence hang as she ran the back of her hand down his cheek.
"You have a date, Doctor." he smiled as he grasped her hand, pulling it close to press a kiss to her palm.
"All right then." she replied. She flashed him a smile and a wink before moving away. Nathan watched until she had disappeared around the corner before turning and heading in the opposite direction, a pleased smile on his face.
Kristin stood in the doorway to Gracie's room, a soft smile on her face. Nathan sat, stretched out on Gracie's bed, the little girl tucked against his side her attention rapt as he read her a bedtime story.
Kristin was pleased at how quickly Gracie had taken to Nathan, accepting him as though he had always been with them. She watched them for a moment longer then quietly turned away. Stopping a her dresser, Kristin opened one of the drawers and after searching through lingerie she chose one and moved to the head.
She emerged several minutes later dressed in a pale green, silk and lace negligee. After moving to the bunk and turning back the covers, Kristin crossed to the dresser and picked up her hairbrush. She brushed out her hair until it fell in soft waves about her shoulders. Just as she set the brush down again, she heard Nathan step out and close the door to Grace's room.
"She's asleep." he said quietly.
"Good. I'm glad she's taken to you so easily." Kristin said quietly as she turned to face him.
"Well she's a very trusting child." he said as he closed the distance between them.
"No it's more than that." Kristin stated and slipped her arms around his waist and pressed herself close. "I think she somehow senses the connection to you."
"Maybe." he said softly.
"Now how about we say hello properly?" Kristin purred as her arms moved up to twine around his neck..
"First, there's something I want to say. Something that I think I need to say." He said softly.
"I'm not sure I like the sound of this." Kristin replied with a frown and slipped her arms from his neck.
"No it's not what you're thinking." he reassured her as he took both of her hands in his. "I just want you to know that the time we spent together in Miami meant more to me than I could ever tell you and there hasn't been a day these last five years when you haven't crossed my mind." He paused a moment, looking deep into her sable eyes. "It didn't take me very long after Carol and I got back together for me to realize that I had made a mistake. Although I loved Carol, I was not *in love* with her anymore. Things between us had changed and we both knew we could never get back what we had before. I stayed because I made a promise to her and I couldn't break it but I regretted every day not staying with you. I don't know how, Kris but I fell in love with you, more deeply in love than I have ever been before. You are a part of me and run deep in my soul. I survived losing Carol but I know I would never survive if I lost you again." he finished in a soft whisper.
Kristin smiled, tears shining in her eyes and reached up to press her hand to his cheek.
"I love you too, so very, very much. And I said that if we were meant to be together we would find each other again." she told him as she tenderly stroked his cheek.
"Yes you did." he whispered and leaned into her caress. "And words can't express how grateful I am for Grace. Because of her I have my future back. Thank you." he whispered as he turned his head to press a kiss in the center of her palm.
Kristin smiled. "There's no need to thank me for her. She was a blessing, a miracle. I had a piece of you when I wasn't sure I would ever see you again. And now we have the chance to be a family. If that's what you want?"
"More than anything." he breathed.
"Good." she replied with a soft smile and moved back into his embrace, slipping her arms around his neck. "Can we say hello now?"
"Absolutely." Nathan replied with a smile as his hands settled around her waist and drew her tight to his body. "Hello." he murmured and saw the smile in her eyes as he lowered his lips to hers.
His kiss, at first, was soft and exploratory, savoring the feel of her in his arms after so long. But Kristin wanted more. Her fingers threaded through his hair and she pulled him tighter to her, her tongue darting boldly, pressing for entry.
Nathan groaned and followed suit, his tongue tangling with hers. Still entwined they moved to the bunk and he gently lowered her back onto the mattress. Reaching out, Kristin pulled him to her until his body was stretched full length over hers, then pulled his mouth back to hers. Their tongues tangled together, plunging and stroking in an imitation of the intimate joining they both ached for.
After a long moment, Nathan's lips left hers and slid to her cheek. He followed the line of her jaw to the point of her chin and Kristin sighed, tilting her head back to expose the long smooth column of her throat to his ardent kisses. Nathan took full advantage, trailing his lips down her throat to her collarbone and she moaned softly as his tongue darted out to trace the bony ridge before moving lower.
Gently pushing the straps of her negligee down her arms, Nathan pressed tiny kisses to each inch of flesh he exposed. The silk inched ever lower until it pooled at her waist. He wasted no time, and Kristin released a low throaty purr as his lips closed around one nipple, suckling greedily and teasing it to erectness with his tongue.
His lips moved from her breast, tracing her ribs before moving down over her stomach . Kristin moaned as his tongue traced the outline of her navel before continuing lower.
He gently grabbed the soft fabric at her waist and she shifted, lifting her hips so he could slide the negligee down her legs and finally off, tossing it onto the end of the bunk behind him. She smiled at the low growl of approval he released when he saw she wore nothing else beneath.
She shivered at the heat and intense desire she saw in his stormy blue gaze as his eyes traced the length of her body, from top to toe.
"God, you're beautiful." he breathed "Just as I remembered." he added as he leaned over her and once again resumed his passionate assault on her. Kristin released a soft moan and parted her thighs, granting him access as his kisses drew closer and closer to that place where she burned for his touch.
Nathan paused and lifted his head, flashing her a feral grin that let her know exactly what he was planning to do next and Kristin shivered in anticipation. She released a gasp as his tongue touched her, that gasp quickly turning into an impassioned moan as he continued to lick and suck and nuzzle until she was sure that she would surely lose her mind from the exquisite torture. Kristin felt her orgasm build and seconds later she released a half-surprised moan as she came with tidal wave intensity.
Kristin smiled up at him, her eyes dark and dreamy from her climax. Reaching out, Nathan pulled her up into his arms. "Beautiful." he murmured as he kissed her tenderly.
"I get to play now." Kristin supplied with a low provocative growl as her fingers began to make short work of the buttons on his shirt. That and his t-shirt were tossed aside and she flashed him a seductive smile as her hands skimmed down the expanse of his bare chest, fingers curling through the soft mat of dark hair she found.
Reversing their positions on the bunk, she leaned over him and began the selfsame , sweet assault on him. She leaned down to kiss him once more, her teeth catching his lower lip and applying gentle pressure. He groaned and felt instantly bereft when she released his lips to press soft kisses across his chest, her long fingernails lightly scraping his sides. Her lips captured one of his nipples and she tugged gently, her tongue flicking lightly over the sensitive skin. She smiled against his warm flesh when she heard his answering moan. Her lips trailed over to his other nipple, paying it equal attention before continuing. The muscles of his stomach twitched and rippled as she moved ever lower.
When she reached the barrier of his trousers, Kristin sat back on her haunches then slid further down his body until she could reach his shoes. Shoes and socks joined the rest of the clothes in some unseen spot on the floor before she moved back up his body. Straddling his thighs, she reached out and her cool fingers brushed over his abdomen as she reached for his belt. She unfastened the buckle then popped open the button and slowly slid down the zipper. Nathan arched his hips to aide her as she slipped the pants from his body and tossed them over her shoulder where they landed amid the pile of discarded clothing. She looked back at her lover and smiled. He was still wearing his briefs and now, free of the restraining pressure of his pants, the tip of his engorged penis poked out of the waistband. Reaching out Kristin grasped his briefs and pulled them off.
"Hello there." she purred as he was finally exposed to her hungry gaze. She straddled his hips once more and Nathan shuddered when she reached out and ran a finger up the length of his shaft. He let out a low ragged moan as her hand wrapped around it, squeezing lightly.
One hand slipped lower until she cupped his sac and began gently rolling his balls back and forth. Nathan closed his eyes and gave himself over to the sensations she was invoking. Her other hand began to move on his hot shaft, gently stroking up and down, squeezing lightly when she reached the head.
He moaned deep in his throat when Kristin's lips brushed against him and her tongue darted out to lick the moist, purple head. Nathan groaned as her lips closed around him and she began to suck slowly.
Kristin continued her loving assault as her hand moved in a steady rhythm up and down his length. Nathan hadn't thought it possible that he could get any harder, but he was wrong as he felt himself growing and lengthening in her gentle grasp.
Kristin's tongue darted out to taste the pre-come that she was coaxing out of him and Nathan could take no more. "Kris.....tin," he rasped.
At his impassioned plea, Kristin released him. She slid back up his body and in one swift move, Nathan had her pinned beneath him. He stretched out over her and she accepted his weight, parting her thighs as he thrust his hips and slid deeply into her.
"God, you feel so good." Nathan moaned as he paused, savoring the feeling of being inside her after so long.
"Mmm, Nathan." she purred as she arched her hips against him then raised her legs, locking her ankles behind his hips. The action pulled him closer, allowing greater penetration as he began to thrust in and out of her.
Nathan's hands twined in the heavy silk of her hair, holding her gently as his mouth fused with hers, his tongue plunging deep, dancing with hers, mimicking the actions of their lower bodies.
With each thrust of his hips, Kristin felt the sweet tension build and knew she was close.
Nathan's mouth swallowed her cry of release and Kristin clung to him as she rode out the waves of pleasure that suffused through every nerve ending in her body.
Several seconds later, Nathan pulled his mouth from hers, their eyes melding as he softly moaned her name and thrust one last time, emptying himself into her.
Kristin accepted his full weight as he collapsed on top of her. Wrapping her arms around him, she held him tightly, pressing soft kisses to his sweat damp forehead, feeling the ebbing shudders of pleasure that wracked his body.
After a moment, he rolled, taking Kristin with him, tucking her up against his side as he pulled the covers around them. Kristin sighed and snuggled against him, her head coming to rest in the warm curve of his neck and shoulder. Draping her leg across him she pressed a tender kiss to his bare shoulder as her fingers drew lazy patterns over his chest.
Kristin felt his arms tighten around her in response and his lips brush against her forehead.
"Nathan?" she whispered softly.
"Hmm.." he replied as his hand grasped hers and pulled it to his lips, brushing a tender kiss across the back.
"Any regrets?" she questioned as she lifted her head so she could look down into his eyes.
"A few..." he replied as he tenderly cupped her face between his palms. "But not about us.. I will never regret anything that happens between us. Why?"
"I don't know...I guess I'm just finding it a little hard to believe that you've come back into my life and I'm afraid that when I wake up you'll be gone...or worse this was all just a dream."
"Kris.." he began softly and pulled her until she was stretched out full length over him. "I love you more than I ever thought it was possible and I can't promise that we will never be separated but I do promise that I will never *willingly* leave you. You and Gracie mean more to me then I could ever tell you and I'm not letting either of you out of my life again." he told her softly.
"So you'll stay?" Kristin asked in a tearful whisper.
"Yes."
"Then remind me to thank Bill Noyce next time I see him." Kristin joked lightly and pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth
"All Bill did was get me on that shuttle. I'm staying because of you and Gracie. My home is wherever you are and I will stay for as long as you let me."
"Forever?" she supplied softly.
"Forever." he replied with a tender smile and pulled her lips to his, kissing her with renewed passion.
Gracie slipped out of bed and padded softly to her bedroom door. She opened it and stepped out into the dimly lit main cabin. The light that her mother always left on in the bathroom allowed her enough illumination to see as she moved and stopped beside her mother's bed, looking down at its occupants. Her face wore a curious frown when she saw that mummy was sharing her bed with someone else. As long as she could remember mummy had never done that except with her and Gracie grew more curious. The person next to mummy moved, rolling until their face was visible in the dim light.
Gracie smiled when she recognized that it was Captain Nathan. She liked him. He was nice and kind and she was happy when mummy had told her that he was her daddy. Gracie wasn't really sure *what* a daddy was but she was happy that Captain Nathan was *hers*.
Kristin opened her eyes and saw Gracie standing beside the bed. "Gracie, love. What's the matter?" she asked softly as she sat up, being careful to keep the covers tight around her.
"It's time for breakfast mummy." Gracie told her.
Kristin glanced at the clock on the night table and smiled. "So it is." she replied and looked for the nearest thing to put on. Grabbing Nathan's discarded shirt, she slipped it on and buttoned it fully before slipping from the bed and adjusting the covers around a still sleeping Nathan.
"Let's go get dressed." Kristin said in a quiet voice as she led Gracie back into her bedroom.
It was as Gracie had finished dressing that she asked her mother a question. "Mummy, why was Captain Nathan sleeping with you?"
Kristin paused a moment before saying. "Because he is your Daddy, sweetheart and mommies and daddies always sleep in the same bed."
"Why?"
"Because we love each other." Kristin told her, hoping that answer would suffice.
"But I love you and you love me and we don't sleep in the same bed." Gracie stated.
~Oh boy~ Kristin thought, and was wondering just how she was going to explain this to her child when there was a knock on the hatch.
"Mummy will be back in a minute darling." Kristin told her and breathed a sigh of relief as she stepped from the girl's room.
Kristin grabbed her robe from where it was draped over the back of a chair and slipped it on as she crossed to the hatch. She opened it and smiled when she saw Lucas standing outside.
"Morning Doc." he smiled.
"Good morning Lucas." she replied cheerfully.
"Uhm I was wondering if you minded if I take Gracie to breakfast... that way you can get ready and all that..." he said almost sheepishly.
"It's very sweet of you to offer Lucas." Kristin smiled then turned to see that Gracie was standing behind her. "Gracie would you like to go to breakfast with Lucas?"
"Oh yes, please mummy." she smiled and nodded her head eagerly.
"All right." Kristin chuckled. "But you behave and listen to Lucas."
"Okay." Gracie replied and ran to the hatch.
Once Gracie had slipped her hand into Lucas' Kristin said. "Just don't let her talk you into getting any donuts or anything like that."
"I won't." Lucas smiled.
"Good." Kristin nodded, then looked down at her daughter smiling softly at the look of total adoration she shot Lucas. "Bye sweetie, have a good time."
"Bye mummy." Gracie replied flashing her mother a smile and a wave.
"Come on squirt." Lucas said and led her down the hall.
Kristin watched them go with a smile on her face and when they had disappeared around the corner she stepped back inside and closed the hatch.
She moved back to the bunk, looking down at Nathan who, despite all the disruption was still asleep.
Casting a quick glance at the clock she saw that it was still early. She still had over an hour before she had to report for duty. Slipping off her robe, Kristin climbed back into bed.
As she turned onto her side and pulled the covers back around her Nathan rolled towards her, slipping his arm around her waist. Kristin smiled and leaned back against him. She released a soft gasp when she felt the heat of his arousal pressed against the curve of her buttocks. Wriggling back against him, she was rewarded with his low moan and his arm clamped around her pulling her even more tightly to his burgeoning erection.
"Mmm, feels to me like somebody's awake." she purred and heard his chuckle as he began to nibble playfully on her earlobe.
"You got that right." he murmured huskily as his hand closed around her chin, tilting her head back so that he could draw her mouth to his.
As their kiss deepened and grew more passionate, Nathan's free hand worked on opening the buttons of the shirt she wore. When the soft folds of fabric fell open, his hand slipped inside to gently squeeze her breast, teasing the nipple. His mouth swallowed her low moan and then the soft mew of protest as his hand left her breast to trail softly down her body.
She gasped as he slid a questing finger down through the moist curls at the apex of her thighs and sought out the tiny nubbin of her desire. Kristin's gasp quickly turned into a low impassioned moan as he began to tease her expertly, quickly bringing her to the brink.
Before the last wave of pleasure had subsided from her body, Kristin released a low feral growl and turned quickly pinning Nathan to the bed with her body, before he knew what was happening.
"Kris..." he breathed as she straddled him. His hands settled gently on her hips as she took him in her hand and guided him inside her. His hands steadied her as he began to move, thrusting up to meet her as she slid down.
Their tempo increased as their pleasure did, moving perfectly together in the graceful dance that was love.
As he grew ever nearer to release, Nathan opened his eyes to look up at the woman above him. He smiled softly, thinking that she couldn't possibly be more beautiful to him than she was at this moment. Her head was tilted back, russet hair a riotous jumble of curls framing her face; her body peeking through the soft folds of his shirt was flushed and glowing; her face wore a soft grimace of ecstasy, as though she were concentrating very hard.
Nathan's hands slid up from the smooth curve of her hips, up over her ribs, skimming lightly over her breasts, and up the smooth column of her throat to cup her face between his palms.
At his gentle touch, Kristin opened her eyes, her desire soaked gaze meeting his. Their gazes held, locking together as they both rode the waves of ecstasy to completion. Kristin went over first, her body tensing, releasing a soft moan as the force of her climax washed over her.
As the waves of pleasure slowly ebbed out of her, Kristin stretched out over Nathan, her arms wrapping around his neck holding him as he continued thrusting his hips, striving to reach his own release.
"Oh God...Kris..." he moaned, his arms wrapping tight around her, holding her close, hips jerking spasmodically as he came, filling her with his warm essence.
"Mmm...good morning." Kristin purred softly as she pressed tender kisses to the stubble rough curve of his jaw.
"Morning." he chuckled and turned his head so his lips met hers.
After a moment Kristin pressed a kiss to his shoulder and lifted her head to look down at him. "As nice as this is I'd better get going or I'll be late."
"Spoils sport." Nathan pouted playfully.
"Well I suppose you could always join me in the shower." she smiled as she gently slapped his stomach and rolled out of bed. Nathan watched with a smile as she crossed the cabin to the head door, flashing a seductive smile over her shoulder as she disappeared from sight.
Nathan chuckled as he got up and followed her.
Lucas led Gracie into the officer's mess and helped her get cereal and juice for breakfast before getting his own.
After a moment Gracie looked up from her cereal. "Lucas?"
"Yes Gracie"
"Did you know that Captain Nathan is my daddy?" she told him with a pleased smile.
"Yes your mother told me." Lucas replied as he took a sip of juice.
"Lucas?" she questioned again.
"Yes Gracie?"
"Why do mommies and daddies sleep in the same bed?"
Lucas nearly choked on his juice.
At the snicker Lucas heard behind him he shot a glare over his shoulder at Tim and Miguel before turning back to Gracie.
"Uhm... why do you ask?" he questioned nervously.
"Cause Captain Nathan was sleeping in mummy's bed this morning." she told him matter of factly.
"I see.." Lucas hemmed
"Lucas what do mummies and daddies do in the same bed?" she asked innocently.
Lucas looked horrified and Ortiz released a snort of laughter.
"Answer her Lucas." he grinned.
"Ah, stuff it Ortiz." Lucas muttered before turning back to Gracie who was looking up at him waiting for an answer.
"Uhm well....ah...they...." he paused. "Well Gracie I really don't know because I'm not a daddy."
"Nice save Wolenczak." Ortiz quipped.
"Oh, okay." Gracie said and returned to her breakfast seemingly satisfied with his answer.
Lucas breathed a sigh of relief as he resumed eating his breakfast.
The long fight with Marilyn Stark and the Delta Four was finally over. As seaQuest limped back to Pearl for repairs, Nathan moved back down the corridors mulling over all that had happened. He'd just come from calling Noyce and telling him that he accepted reassignment as Captain of the seaQuest and Nathan was happy with that decision, although he did have one concern and he dwelled on it as he rounded the final corner stopping outside Kristin's cabin. He knocked sharply and when granted permission he opened the hatch and stepped down into the cabin.
"Hey." Kristin smiled as she got up from her desk and approached him. Nathan pulled her into his arms and they shared a tender kiss.
"Gracie asleep?" he asked when they parted.
"Yah, poor darling was worn out. She wanted to wait up for you but was asleep the moment her head hit the pillow."
"I'll just look in on her." Nathan stated quietly and pressed a quick kiss to her nose before crossing to Gracie's door and slipping quietly into the bedroom.
When he emerged several minutes later Kristin looked up. She smiled at the look of tenderness in his eyes as he cast one last look at Gracie before closing the door.
She got up from the desk and her smile faded when she saw the look of concern that entered his eyes. "Nathan, is everything all right?" she asked quietly.
"Nothing's wrong." he began quietly. "After all that has happened I've just been doing some thinking."
"You haven't reconsidered staying, have you?" Kristin asked softly
"No Kris, I haven't." he replied and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. "In fact I just finished talking to Bill and telling him I was here to stay. For this tour anyway."
"So what is it then?" she questioned as she ran a hand through his hair in a tender caress.
"With what happened with this encounter with Stark. With the danger we faced I'm just concerned with you and Gracie being here."
"Nathan..." Kristin began
"No, please let me finish. I'm worried because if anything ever happen to either one of you I wouldn't be able to go on. But.. I've also lived at sea apart from my family and I don't ever want to go through that again. I missed too much and that's one of my biggest regrets."
"So..." Kristin asked hesitantly.
"So..even though I will always worry about your safety and want to protect you both, there's nothing I want more than to have you both here with me." he finished softly.
"I'm glad, and I'm concerned about the danger too. But my darling the danger will always be there in one form or another and we can't spend our lives being afraid of what could happen. If we let the fear control us then we're not living...we're merely existing." Kristin said as she ran the back of her hand down his cheek in a gentle caress.
Nathan grasped her hand "How you get to be so wise?" he asked softly, pressing a kiss to the center of her palm.
"By learning the hard way m'love." she finished softly.
Nathan gave her a soft smile and pressed a tender kiss to her lips. "I have been thinking about something else."
"And what's that?"
"Well how about we arrange things so that you and Gracie can move in with me. My cabin is quite a bit bigger but it will take a little adjusting so what do you say, do you wanna be roomies?" he asked with a boyish grin
"I say, you've got yourself a couple of bunkmates Captain." Kristin purred as she wrapped her arms around his neck..
"Ooh good, I like bunkmates." he replied as he leaned forward and pressed his lips to her jaw.
"Really." she replied as she tilted her head to the side, granting him further access.
"Mmm......" He nuzzled the curve of her neck. "I hate sleeping alone."
Nathan heard her soft throaty chuckle as she pulled her head back to meet his gaze.
"And as long as I have anything to say about it you never will again."
"Is that a promise?"
"Most definitely." Kristin replied softly and saw the twinkle in his blue eyes as his lips descended to hers and then there was no more time for words.
~~~~~~FIN~~~~~~~~