Part Nineteen: Sydney’s Hero

Sydney didn’t want to admit to herself that she’d failed Nigel. That would have been more than she could take, but that certainly was the reality of it. She just didn’t want to feel bad anymore...killing Nelson would probably give her a temporary reprieve from her guilt, but that wouldn’t change anything else. No, this just wasn’t going to do. Forcing herself back to her feet Sydney continued to march in the direction of town, and Barry Nelson’s not-so-cold trail.


Oddly, it wasn’t unlike any other really great dream he’d experienced in the past, and Nigel relished in it. Shelagh told him he was dead, and damn it all, if this was true he was pretty happy to be here. He had always pictured death as being complete nothingness, where you just didn’t know anything and no one would care if you were gone or not. There was no ever after, no palace in the sky, no one to love or be loved by in return. His thoughts then drifted to Sydney and the heartbreaking look on her face before his eyesight became too cloudy to make anything out even simple shapes. Smiling, Nigel could take some comfort in knowing Sydney was safe because of him, he had achieved what he set out to do and that was to keep her from harm’s way. His smile softly fading, he realised that he would never again hold her in his arms… never feel the sweetness of her kiss, or hear the laughter in her voice. He felt proud and amazingly at peace with his lot in life. More so than he had ever been… he saved her life. He was a hero, Sydney’s hero. Like one of those white Knights from the court of King Arthur.

Shelagh brought Nigel out to the courtyard. The mid-day sun shone down along a beautiful path of black-eyed Susans, elegant deep blue lobelia and a host of other greenery. The scent of lavender all around him, he drew in a deep breath of it and slowly exhaled. Everything was in full bloom, from pale peach roses that climbed up along a wrought iron arbour, to a grove of multi-coloured daliahs swaying in the gentle summer breeze. The old craggy oaks lining the cemetery from before had transformed into puffed up, leafy shade trees and the headstones looked like they were a mere few years in age. It had the look of a timeless Garden of Eden.

Everything was pristine and not the least bit frightening to him now. Feeling at complete ease he followed her direction as she motioned for him to be seated on a granite bench. Nigel did so, then looked up to the gladiator princess’s tragic arctic eyes. She gazed at him, a questioning expression on her hardened face. He could tell she was a sad woman, a woman of great strength and cunning, but profoundly sad and lonely. Kneeling down Shelagh held out her arms and grasped Nigel’s shoulders in earnest.

"Tell me, selfless one, what is your greatest want in this life?"

What a loaded question, he thought, and one Nigel had a very hard time answering. Or rather, preferred he not answer at all. He swallowed hard and closed his eyes, completely sure that what he really wanted was now a mute point.

"Uh… you want to know what I want?"

"Your most sought after desire, yes."

"But I had everything I ever wanted, and then some. What does it matter now anyway? You tell me I’m dead!" He was getting exasperated very quickly. Just the thought of Sydney and never getting to be with her again was crippling. He licked his lips, recalling the last kiss she gave him… tears were in his eyes now, and he was powerless to stop them.

"Yes, yes you are, but it always matters! I didn’t realise that until I was asked to slaughter my own brother. I paid the price for keeping what I held dearly protected. I sacrificed it all for him. As I explained already, you were forced into a situation where there was only one way out, much like I was in the amphitheatre for me. You have earned a most great reward, Nigel Bailey!"

He studied the joy on her angelic features, and could not for he life of him see what he should be celebrating for! "Don’t you understand? I had to leave her behind…there is NOTHING that would have stopped me from doing that, nothing…" His voice got a little gravely, and he was choking up all too quickly for his liking. "But it doesn’t mean I took any pleasure from it. Do you understand that?"

"Alas, I do." Shelagh stood before him and sighed, thinking to herself, heroes do come in every way, shape and form… "You still have not told me what you want. All you have to do is utter the words, and you shall have it.

"Don’t play with me like that!" Nigel snapped, and got up from his seat. "Were you as cruel as this when you were living?"

Shelagh understood his frustration and pain, taking in a deep breath of air before continuing on. "Dear Nigel, I am not playing a game, nor am I being cruel in any fashion." She placed her hand on his shoulder and twisted him around to face her. "Please, just say it. Tell me your deepest, most sincere want."

Nigel was afraid to say it. He was terrified. If he was dead there was no going back, so there was no point in asking for that. "I, I don’t think what I want is at all possible…"

"Ah, that’s where you are wrong!" Shelagh smiled a knowing smile, her face just glowed. "Go ahead Englishman, speak your peace and you shall see."

He felt like he was going to die all over again. "I know this isn’t real…but all right." His voice was quiet, a borderline whisper. "I want to go back. Please?"

This Sydney was a lucky woman, to have one so dedicated to her and her alone. Shelagh could have used one so loyal in her day. Here was a true champion, Sydney’s hero.

Go to Part Twenty.


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